Opening The Vault: Part Six

When you’re single, one of the adages that you tend to often hear is that love happens when you’re not looking for it. That was most definitely the case on a spring afternoon fourteen years ago when I met 36-year-old Mark, a.k.a Sparky.

Back in the Big Apple for a few weeks on spring break from my junior year in London, I was persuaded by my mom to accept an invitation from a family friend and producer to watch a filming of “NYPD Blue.” Having only seen the then-hit show a couple of times and still recovering from jetlag, I wasn’t exactly jumping at the opportunity to hobnob with the stars.

That changed when, in the course of trying to locate aforementioned family friend Bill, I crossed paths with Sparky. The sparks flew between us immediately, and so did the playful banter. I now Open The Vault and take you back to March 1994...

March 23, 1994
New York City

Dear Diary,

I was snapping away with my camera, intent on recording as many details of “NYPD Blue” in action as possible. [My sister] Hilary and I posed for pictures with actors Dennis Franz and David Caruso.

While I was sitting in Sparky’s chair, I couldn’t resist asking Hil to get a shot of the two of us. It seemed fitting since he turned out to be the most memorable part of the day.

Sparky offered to try and get Hil and I walk-on parts as extras in the episode being filmed, but I said no thanks, not wanting to seem too starstruck. As Sparky continued his job of recording the dialogue, we continued giving each other the eye quite a bit.

“God, is it possible,” he asked, gripping the arms of the chair I was in and leaning in real close, “to be infatuated with someone this quickly?”

“I don’t know,” I answered with a smile. “I guess so.”

I knew it was only a matter of time until the fireworks between Sparky and me would lead elsewhere. As the sun faded and filming wrapped up, he once again held both arms of the chair. Looking right at me through his Ray Bans, he said--

“I would love to take you out.”

“Well, I’d love for you to take me out,” I replied without hesitation.

* * *

Before leaving the set, Hilary and I went over to Bill to thank him for inviting us to the proceedings. Upon informing him of my pending date with Sparky, he cautioned--

“Be careful. You know, he’s a Hollywood guy.”

* * *

Sparky took me to dinner at Capriccio, an intimate and upscale restaurant off of Park Avenue. I felt very aware of the fact that I was being wooed in a way I never had been before.

The conversation flowed and it struck me how stimulating it felt to be with an older man with so much life’s experience behind him--until Sparky casually mentioned that was he was divorced and had an 11-year-old child.

I smiled, inwardly thinking--whew, thank goodness he’s only going to be in town for 3 more days.

* * *

I had no idea then that the following three days would lead to months of bicoastal phone calls and flights, and years of love across three time zones. Who knew a TV shoot in the middle of a crowded New York City park could also be the ideal stage for romance?

Opening The Vault: Part Five

My junior year in London brought with it a whirlwind of romantic activity -- a welcome change after two quiet years at my Massachusetts alma mater, Mount Holyoke College.

With a two-to-one guy-girl ratio, my dormitory Commonwealth Hall served up a steady stream of male distractions -- including an unexpected fling with a good friend. The fling ended so badly that romance was the last thing on my mind when I flew back to New York for spring break. Fate, however, had other plans.

It was during this break that I ended up meeting the man who would become my first true love and real-life version of Mr. Big. The day our paths crossed, my sister Hilary and I were invited by Bill Clark, a family friend and producer of “NYPD Blue” to watch a taping of the show in Tompkins Square Park.

Hilary, actor Dennis Franz and me on the set of "NYPD Blue," March 1994

I now Open The Vault and take you back to 1994...

New York City
March 23, 1994

Dear Diary,

As I rounded the corner where "NYPD Blue" was shooting, I was enchanted with all of the hustle and bustle unfolding before me. There were police cars, movie cameras and those monogrammed folding chairs that are de rigeur on TV and movie sets. I’d never been so close to the action before…I wondered how we were going to find Bill amidst all of the commotion. I spotted a crew member standing by a sound mixing device and approached him.

“Excuse me,” I said. “Do you know where I can find Bill Clark?”

The man graciously suggested that if I stood right there, Bill would come by. He continued to engage me in small talk and I learned he was sound mixer for the show. We had only been talking for a few minutes when he said--

“You’re so beautiful, you should be in front of the cameras.”

A delighted smile crossed my face. Though his name was Mark, he said his on-set nickname was Sparky so that’s what I called him.

Bill Clark appeared and chatted with Hilary, as Sparky and I continued flirting… For some reason, I didn’t feel the need to subject him to my usual sarcasm and anti-male rhetoric. Probably because of the immediate attraction between us and the fact that he was more charming than any guy I had met before.

When shooting resumed, Sparky invited me to sit in his monogrammed folding chair, and gave me headphones to listen to the scenes being filmed. I saw him whisper something to my sister and then walk away.

“He said he has some time off soon,” Hilary told me. “And he’d like to spend it with you.”

* * *

I had no idea then that Sparky would act on his words and woo me across time zones and bodies of water.

And so it was that we began the recurring dynamic of coming together and letting go that would define our relationship for more than a decade. Defying the odds stacked against us -- namely geography and a 16-year age difference -- we sustained a connection that forever changed my definition of love.

I’ve got the diary entries to prove it.