Money can be a thorny subject on a first date -- especially when it come to deciding who paysAs I told the AP, I’m a traditionalist in that I think a man should pick up the tab. I’ve always believed that being respected as a woman and treated like a lady are not mutually exclusive -- and I’ve dated enough to know there are many men who are of the same mindset.
“It would make me feel emasculated,” my old flame Steve told me, when I asked for his take on having a woman pay or going Dutch.
Friend and fellow writer Eddie says he was raised to believe a gentleman always treats a lady -- but admits that point of view has gotten him into trouble on occasion.
“I got hammered on dates when I asked for the bill and handed over my credit card,“ he says. “My gesture did not go over well because the dates presumed it meant that I didn't think they could pay their own way. But the old tradition was too ingrained in my soul for me to change. What I did do was a add a line that anticipated the challenge: ‘I have had such a great time with you. Would you mind if I picked up the tab?’ Issue resolved.”
Eddie went on to say that there’s merit to both sides of the argument and I couldn’t agree more. Plenty of men and women are happy to go 50/50 on a first date. And I’d venture to say an equal number of us believe modern-day mores can happily co-exist with the time-honored tradition of a man taking a woman out.
Neither approach is wrong. Recession or not, though, I think a first date should involve more than going for a walk (the suggestion that one guy proposed to a friend of mine). You don’t have to break the bank to come up with something fun -- you just have to exercise a little creativity.
And when it comes to romance, that’s a muscle we could all afford to flex more often.
