Opening The Vault: Part Twenty Three

In every relationship, there comes a time when you move out of the initial honeymoon period and into real coupledom -- when you begin to explore whether love really does conquer all.

That transition was an especially bumpy one for me and my California-based love Mark (a.k.a Sparky). About eight months into our complicated romance, I made my third consecutive visit out to L.A. to see him.

I felt strongly that it was Mark’s turn to do the traveling, but pleading phone calls from him led me to book a last-minute weekend trip. Just before end of semester final exams my senior year -- and without my parents’ knowledge.

I now Open The Vault and take you back to December of ‘94...

New York, NY
Tuesday Dec. 7th, 1994

Dear Diary,

Our reunion Friday night was sublime…Like Friday, Saturday was great.

We woke up early and clad in our robes, went downstairs to the living room, where we had one of our most magical mornings ever.

Phantom of the Opera: The euphoria that Sparky and I enjoyed during a song from this haunting musical was short-lived during my third visit to see him in L.A.

Cueing up the ballad “All I Ask of You” from “Phantom of The Opera,” Sparky and I melted into one another’s arms and began to dance. As we held each other close, I rested my head on his shoulder. Then, feeling Sparky’s eyes on me, I turned to look at him.

“We were meant for each other,” he said. “You know that, don’t you?”

Right then and there, for one fleeting moment, I did know it.

* * *

Later, after a relatively serene afternoon, things between us began to take a turn for the worse. I became unhappy as Mark reverted to his distant mode.

When we woke up on Sunday, Mark sensed my hostility and asked me about it. I told him that I felt he wasn’t being affectionate enough.

“Well, I’m sorry,” he said coldly. “But I think that’s bullsh*t.”

I immediately stood up, furious that he could be so tactless. Another argument ensued.

Afterward, while I was in the bathroom putting on my makeup, he suddenly appeared and said --

“I’m sorry. I guess I’m not used to having such a sensitive, beautiful young woman in my life.”

The rest of the day was up and down. There were a lot of silent moments and I found myself unsuccessfully fighting back tears for the duration of the afternoon.

Over brunch at Marina del Rey, Mark said he was concerned that our relationship was becoming more than I could handle.

* * *

That night, we finally got around to discussing what had prompted me to make the trip -- the difficulties surrounding our situation. Mark admitted he needs more. I said I don’t want our circumstances to ruin what we have.

“What this relationship needs,” he observed, “is the test of time.”

* * *

Our rocky weekend together was the first of many tests for Sparky and I as a couple. I had no idea when he uttered those predictive words the worst of that particular encounter was yet to come.

Opening The Vault: Part Twelve

When it comes to relationships, the honeymoon period always seems to race by in a heartbeat. The same could be said of my week in London with California native Mark (a.k.a Sparky).

Our whirlwind week in England’s capital took us on quite a journey. We shared giggles in the Whispering Gallery of St. Paul’s Cathedral, tears at “Phantom of The Opera” and countless kisses in Trafalgar Square. We laughed at our mutual affinity for the 80’s film flop “Xanadu” (Sparky worked on the movie, I loved the unabashed cheesiness of it). And, as his departure approached, we shared our thoughts about the future.

I now Open The Vault and take you back once again to the spring of 1994...

London, England
Commonwealth Hall

May 3, 1994

Dear Diary,

Our final day together began with a quick bite at McDonald’s on Charing Cross. I became weepy thinking about Sparky’s departure and our obstacle-laden circumstances. It was a subject we would return to that night.

We strolled over to Leicester Square. Sparky pulled me into a passionate kiss. I was beginning to wonder if we were overdoing it on the PDA when I spotted two ladies in a café applauding us and smiling.

London's Leicester Square: A great spot for PDA and people watching

After stopping in Chinatown for some takeout, we went back to Sparky’s hotel room for a cozy, low-key evening. I told Sparky that I didn’t want to leave him in limbo because of my inability to make a commitment.

“Five years might seem like a long time,” he said, anticipating how long it would take me to be ready to settle down, “but it’s not to me.”

He was silent then as he inscribed the following on the inside cover of the “Xanadu” soundtrack he’d bought me…

“You are the most magical woman I have ever met.
All the wonders of the world will be yours. I love you.”

We fell into each other’s arms and a beautiful dance. Somehow, dancing felt like an affirmation of our love and what we meant to each other.

Magic.

* * *

With talk of a potential second encounter in London, I said goodbye to Sparky and wondered when we would be together again. It would be months before we were reunited. In the interim, the final part of my junior year abroad brought its fair share of surprises -- including a few more of the male variety.

Coming up…more outrageous first dates and the conundrum of relationship make or break deadlines.

Opening The Vault: Part Eight

It's not very often that real-life romance kicks off in fairy tale fashion. I’ve been fortunate to experience this unusual twist a few times, most dramatically with my first love, California native Mark (a.k.a Sparky).

After meeting in the middle of an “NYPD Blue” shoot, Sparky and I were quickly in the throes of infatuation. Our initial days together were a whirlwind of intimate dinners, carriage rides in Central Park and talk of the future.

That first weekend ended with a diamond band from Sparky and a promise – that he would spend his upcoming vacation time with me.

Over the course of the next five weeks, we burned up the phone lines and Sparky made good on his word, booking a trip to London, where I was spending my junior year. During one of our conversations, I let him know my stance on sex – specifically, that I planned to wait until marriage to have it. Though he was taken aback by my revelation, Sparky didn’t waver when I asked him if he was still coming.

“Absolutely,” he said without missing a beat.

And so it was that, after a 12-hour journey from L.A., Sparky made his way to London to woo me like no other man had before. I now Open The Vault and take you back to the spring of 1994...

London, England
April 27, 1994

Dear Diary,

After our long cab ride from Heathrow, we finally arrived at the Regent’s Park Hilton. Up in Sparky’s room, I began unpacking his suitcase while he freshened up in the bathroom. When he poked his head out and saw what I was doing, he said --

“I should just propose to you right now.”

“Haven’t you already?” I replied with a smile, and he laughed, remembering that he had.

* * *

I treated Sparky and me to a show -- the haunting, dazzling “Phantom of The Opera.” Toward the end, I heard a sniffling sound coming from him and sure enough, he was crying.

After the lights came up, Sparky apologized for being so sentimental. I assured him he had nothing to be sorry about. Overcome with emotion, he looked at me and said with great urgency --

“There’s so much I want to share with you.”

* * *

Hand in hand, we walked to Trafalgar Square. There, with the majestic fountains behind us, right in one of London’s most sublime spots, we kissed -- over and over again. As Sparky remained standing, I sat on the edge of the fountain and rested my hands on his shoulders. Forget soap operas and novels, this was the real thing!!

London's Trafalgar Square: The perfect spot for romance

Next, we strolled into Covent Garden for dinner at one of my favorite Italian bistros, La Quercia D’Oro. The conversation flowed effortlessly, a surprise given that Sparky and I were still very much in the getting-to-know-each-other stage.

Back in my room at Commonwealth Hall, I lit some candles. As soon as Sparky touched me, I could feel my entire body respond. All we did was kiss, but it was a thousand times more passionate than anything I had experienced before.

After we said goodnight, I knocked on my floor mate Carine’s door to get her advice about whether I should spend any nights with Sparky at his hotel.

“If you want him to respect the decision you’ve made [to not have sex], then you have to respect it too,” she said.

* * *

Though I resolved to follow Carine's counsel, resisting temptation proved to be easier said than done….

London was only the beginning for me and Sparky. Not too long ago, he reminisced about our time together in England’s capital.

“The week we spent in London was the best time I ever shared with someone.”

Fourteen years later, I feel the same way. Even when there’s 3,000 miles of geography in the way, some loves never leave you.