Best Friends Forever

One of my favorite sayings is friends are the family we choose for ourselves. That’s never been more true for me than with my best friend of 20+ years, Lisa.

Lisa and I first connected as pen pals back in 1987, bonding over our shared affection for the witty NBC soap opera “Santa Barbara.”

We clicked even more when we met in person several months later. And so began a friendship that has defied geographical odds (Lisa lives in Kansas City) to become the sisterhood closest to my heart.

Lisa and I during a girls getaway to L.A., Summer 1997

Lisa and I speak 3-4 times a week, and email and text each other daily. Over the years, we’ve shared everything -- celebrity gossip, love life highs and lows, job-related trials and triumphs and the seminal loss in each of our lives, that of our respective parents.

Though I wish with all of my heart we didn’t have this in common, there’s no denying that having each lost both of our parents has deepened the bond between us -- because we’re the only ones we know who’ve lived through this double tragedy as young, single women.

Though no two experiences of grief are the same, ours have both been filtered through the prism of having had parents we genuinely adored and respected. I cherish that I was able to know Lisa’s Mom and Dad and I know she feels the same way about mine.

Lisa is everything a best friend should be and more -- a trusted advisor, sympathetic ear and the person I think of first whenever something really great (or really terrible) happens.

I’m looking forward to many, many more decades of friendship with Lisa. And many more conversations about how much we still love watching our old VHS tapes of “Santa Barbara.”

An A-mazing Friday Night

Friday night, I had the unexpected pleasure of catching up with my good friend, actor A Martinez. A was in town for his second recurring stint on ABC’s “One Life to Live.”

A Martinez as villainous Ray Montez in a scene from ABC-TV's "One Life to Live"

As I mentioned in August, A and I became friends when we met at the Daytime Emmy Awards back in 1988, during his heyday as the heroic lead character on another soap opera, NBC’s “Santa Barbara.” Over the course of the last two decades, we’ve shared many memorable meals together and Friday was no exception.

A and I had dinner at Coppola’s on the Upper West Side. A cozy, moderately-priced bistro, Coppola’s has been serving up brick oven pizza and homestyle Italian fare for nearly 20 years.

Coppola's West: A cozy slice of Italian charm on NYC's Upper West Side

While I savored roasted tilapia over paglia e fieno pasta complemented by a glass of Chardonnay, A enjoyed chicken Milanese and we shared a sinfully rich chocolate cake for dessert.

Our conversation covered everything from this year’s historic presidential election and Obama’s brilliant use of the Internet in engaging Americans of all ages, to coping with the departure of a beloved co-worker. I told A about my PR colleague and dear friend, Morty, whose upcoming exit will leave an enormous void in my workday. A empathized, having gone through the same experience when his “Santa Barbara” leading lady of seven years left the show several months before he did.

After we hugged each other goodbye, I was surprised to check the time and discover that four and a half hours had gone by. That’s the wonderful thing about good friends -- you can always pick up right where you left off.

Be sure to catch A when he turns up on OLTL again as villainous Ray Montez. His scenes are slated to air at the end of December.

An A-mazing Afternoon

Sunday, I had brunch with my dear friend of 17 years Marilyn, in town from Ohio. It was a very special afternoon for us, because we were joined by our mutual friend, actor A Martinez and his family.

This get together was nearly two decades in the making. Marilyn and I connected back in 1991 over our shared affection for A and his work on the NBC soap opera “Santa Barbara.” As I blogged last week (http://melissa-singlegalinthecity.blogspot.com/2008/08/brunch-with-one-of-my-heroes.html), A and I became friends after meeting at the 1988 Daytime Emmys. Marilyn too has become good friends with him.

Still, with Marilyn in Ohio, A in California and me in New York, the stars never aligned for all of us to be in the same place at the same time. Serendipity finally smiled upon us on the other day, with an afternoon that was more than worth the wait.

While I had met A’s delightful wife Leslie years ago at the Emmys, this was my first encounter with their children--Cody, 21, Devon, 19, and Ren, 14. All three of them are exceptional--engaging, intelligent people who have inherited their parents’ warmth and compassion, not to mention their father’s acting and musical talents.

Over a three-hour brunch at Arte Café on the Upper West Side--which serves a brioche French Toast with apple cinnamon sauce that is to die for--the free-flowing conversation covered a lot of ground. Devon mentioned her excitement about going to see “Rent” with her siblings, while the rest of the Martinez clan raved so much about “Osage: August County” that I’m going to see it this weekend. Cody shared his poignant take on the artistic struggles of a musician while Ren told us about building homes this summer on a Navajo reservation.

By the time we got around to sharing an assortment of desserts--cheesecake, chocolate mousse, caramel gelato, and passionfruit sorbet--I felt like I had come to know another side of A. Through the years, he has spoken at great length and with great affection for his family. Now I know why.

With hugs all around, we parted outside the restaurant, but not before taking one last picture…

Together At Last: Marilyn, A and me

As Marilyn and I walked away, we marveled over our memorable afternoon. And I felt thankful all over again for the blessing of good friends, including one who just happens to be one of the greatest stars in the galaxy.

Brunch With One Of My Heroes

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of catching up with my good friend, daytime acting icon A Martinez. We met for lunch to celebrate his eagerly-anticipated return to the soaps, with a new recurring role on ABC’s “One Life to Live.”

A 40-year showbiz veteran, A (short for Adolpho) is best known for his Emmy-winning portrayal of Cruz Castillo on NBC’s “Santa Barbara.” That’s how I became a fan of his, meeting him for the first time at the age of 14 when I attended the Daytime Emmys. I remember being so starstruck that I burst into tears upon seeing A. I never imagined that this memorable encounter would lead to a cherished friendship with one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever known.

A and Me at the Daytime Emmy Awards, June 1989

A has a well-deserved reputation for being gracious, down-to-earth and exceedingly kind. Over the course of twenty years and many delightful meals together, I’ve had the good fortune of experiencing his generous spirit first hand.

A devoted father of three who adores his children and his lovely wife Leslie, A speaks with boundless pride about his family. The ties that bind were among the many subjects we covered over brunch at Café Luxembourg on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. Our affable waiter was solicitous yet unobtrusive about letting us linger, and linger we did for four hours. A and I were all smiles as we shared a sublimely decadent chocolate gateau with a dollop of whipped cream and cherry compote.

Catching up at Cafe Luxembourg, August 2008

In between bites, we talked about the marvels of New Mexico, the catharsis to be found in artistic expression (he’s also a talented musician and writer), and the emotional trajectory that inevitably follows a breakup.

Speaking of the latter, I last caught up with A in Santa Monica, immediately following a weekend with Mark, my on-again/off-again California love. Reeling once again from the realization that it would never work out between us, I found great comfort in A’s reassuring words.

“We don’t get a lot of soul mates in this life,” he said, “But we definitely get more than one.”

A knows what he’s talking about -- he’s been happily married to his beautiful wife for 27 years. His wisdom and understanding are just two of many reasons why I feel so fortunate to know him.

It is a rare thing to be given the opportunity to meet one of your real-life heroes. Rarer still is when you connect as friends. Twenty years after meeting A for the first time, I’m still starstruck.

I’m tickled pink that A will be gracing the small screen again. If you haven’t experienced his talent, do yourself a favor and check out “One Life to Live” beginning September 12th. You can also catch A this week on the Lifetime Movie Network flick, “Little Girl Lost.”

By The Numbers: Take Six

When you have filled as many handwritten journals as I have (93 to be exact), you can’t help but find yourself doing a little nostalgic math from time to time. It’s not uncommon for me to peruse the pages of entries past in order to try and figure out the sum total of where my experiences in life and love have taken me. As part of this ongoing quest, I bring you the latest installment of By The Numbers….

Number of emails from old flames taking up space in my inbox: 190
Number of dates preceding quickest declaration of love from a new beau: 4
Number of times PDA garnered the attention of a New York city cop: 1
Number of diamond bands from old flames donated to charity: 1
Number of soap opera stars with whom I’ve discussed unrequited love: 1

The above-referenced star is talented and remarkably kind actor A Martinez, whose Emmy-winning portrayal of Cruz Castillo on NBC’s now-defunct sudser Santa Barbara stole my heart, launched a friendship that has spanned two decades and led me to two of my dearest friends in the world.

Up next…socializing for a good cause and a top online spa destination.