The Extremes Of Online Dating

During a recent email exchange with some of my friends, we found ourselves comparing notes on the vagaries of online dating.

While online dating memberships are up (according to the New York Times anyway), it seems to be a case of quantity over quality these days.

"It's like all the men are picked over," says galpal LK. "And I don't want to pick from this nudnick patch."

Like, for example, the JDate guy who told her he’s decided to never eat out again because it’s bad for your health – but would she like to go for a walk?

It’s also been slim pickings for my friend AC since signing up with the site about a month ago.

"Not a single non-mutant guy has contacted me," she says. "And it turns out the one almost normal guy I ‘clicked’ with dated my best friend."

I, meanwhile, reiterated my biggest pet peeve -- men who are more interested in endless emailing, texting and phone tag than meeting in person.

At the other end of the spectrum, a JDate.com guy recently bordered on stalking after I responded to his email.

The next day, he left me a voicemail in which he called me "sweetie" and "honey" several times, and then proceeded to send half a dozen text messages (signed XO), one of which said—

"Your blue eyes melt me."

A bit much considering we’ve never met.

AC is canceling her subscription to Jdate -- and exiting Match.com too. I’ll be doing likewise soon. Because when it comes to tilting the dating odds in your favor, nothing beats connecting with the opposite sex face to face.

Communicating The Old Fashioned Way

When it comes to online dating, I’m a big believer in moving swiftly from emails to talking on the phone. Call me old fashioned, but I think physical communication is a better indicator of chemistry than texting, IM’ing and the like.

Though I clearly state this preference in my profile, it’s not uncommon to hear from guys who seem to have more of an interest in becoming pen pals. Like Chris, for example, from TheSquare.com. After emailing him my number, this was his response:

“I am much more of an emailer and txt'er than a phone-er. The winter months have me pressed to the wall in terms of time-management.

When things are hectic I am very poor at finding time in my day to reserve for a phone call. I can't call out from work; basically. It's rare. Then, once i arrive home and get some quiet moments after cooking dinner and exercising; it's very late and I am drained.

Weekend: I usually go to Manhattan on friday nights for happy-hour; then sleep til after noon on saturday. Invariably there's a Brooklyn night-out on saturday; and much of my other hours are filled in with cleaning; cooking; groceries; errands.

Cell phones are just not my thing: I mainly depend on them for logistics only. I can text a lot more often than chat. I have a pay-as-you-go plan which emphasizes texts over voice, too. Thats' another consideration.

The bottom line is that I am almost always near a computer screen and I can communicate and do my work at the same time!”

I’m not sure what I find more astonishing, that Chris found the time in his busy schedule to send this email, or that he explained in such excessive detail how busy he is.

I wish him the best of luck with his time management challenges. I, meanwhile, am looking forward to a date later this week -- with someone who had no problem picking up the phone.