By The Numbers: You Never Know Edition

It’s often said that romance happens when you least expect it. Over the years, I’ve experienced this phenomenon many times.

From NYC’s overcrowded Lexington Avenue subway line to a summer stint as a receptionist, there’s been no shortage of variety when it comes to how I’ve connected with the opposite sex. Here are some of the standout random connections, By The Numbers:

Number of men who jumped out of a car in traffic to get my number: 1
Number of men encountered on NYC’s #6 subway who asked me out : 2
Number of holiday romances produced by friends’ matchmaking efforts: 2
Number of temp jobs that led to a long-term boyfriend: 1
Number of bridal showers that resulted in being asked out by a groomsman: 1

NYC's Essex Restaurant: The kiss that resulted from a bridal shower brunch at this Lower East Side eatery was one of the most lackluster I’ve ever had

You never know when or where the next romantic encounter is going to happen. As I recover from my recent foot surgery, I’m excited to be one step closer to finding out what Cupid has in store for me.

Girls Night Out At Cilantro

Last night, my good friend Bobbi and I met up for dinner at Southwestern style eatery Cilantro on the Upper East Side.

Cilantro Restaurant: Tasty Southwestern fare in a cozy, laidback setting

We hadn’t seen each other since my foot surgery almost three weeks ago, so we had plenty to catch up on. A physician’s assistant, Bobbi filled me in on her recent Botox class and plans for a Vermont ski share in December. I told her about my business trip to Queensland (home of Australia’s Great Barrier Reef) in January, and about my upcoming date with an Englishman I met online.

As we savored Cilantro’s tasty Mexican fare (seafood paella for Bobbi, skirt steak marinated in Chimichurri sauce with Southwest fries for me), we also talked about current affairs -- from this year’s thisclose presidential election to Madonna’s messy divorce and astonishing lack of a pre-nup – and what it means when a guy isn’t rushing you into sex. I couldn’t help thinking it’s a sign we’ve become too cynical if our first instinct is to assume the worst about a man who takes his time.

The evening ended on a high note, with Bobbi and I laughing about the vagaries of 30-something singlehood, and me feeling thankful for a much-needed night out.

Making Room For Romance

The other day, a 60-something neighbor of mine came by to fill me in about her recent reunion in Sweden with a long-distance love from years ago. Though the reunion didn’t turn out as she had hoped, it did confirm one thing.

“I’m tired,” she said, “of being surrounded by women.”

Her epiphany that she is ready to find love again got me to thinking about a subject that’s come up more than once lately – how easy it is to fill up your life so much that there’s no room for romance in it.

Ko Sushi: Delicious Japanese fare, great service and the setting of a recent conversation about singlehood

Over dinner at neighborhood delight Ko Sushi, my friend Lauren rhapsodized about the joys of living alone. In the same vein, one of my cousins recently mentioned how happy she is with her life as a 30-something single, a sentiment I share.

As I told my newly romance-minded neighbor, New York is the ideal place to be an independent woman flying solo. Some of this is because we’re in the majority (I once read somewhere that there are approximately 100,000 more single women in the Big Apple than single men). The rest is because when you live in NYC, with its endless parade of engaging diversions and interesting people, you’re never really alone.

Still, for as much as I’m enjoying my love affair with New York, I can’t help thinking it might be time to start carving out more space for a different kind of long-term relationship. I’m looking forward, once I’m fully recovered from my recent foot surgery, to being on the prowl again -- and to all of the fun that goes along with it here in my hometown.

Adventures In Online Dating

This week, I received an email from a guy responding to my profile on TheSquare.com, a networking and dating site for alumni of selected colleges and universities. Having been on a lengthy (i.e. permanent) hiatus from online dating, I couldn’t help thinking about some of my adventures in cyberspace.

Over the years, I’ve cast a pretty wide net on the Net, joining at one time or another half a dozen dating sites. I started off with the ubiquitous Match.com, which produced several strange first dates, a year-long relationship with a canine-obsessed New Yorker and emails from interesting characters like this one:

“Im Italian and Cajen. I went to union trade school to become a electricion. I like to read the daily news in the bathroom.”

From the often-grammatically challenged men on Match.com, I moved onto eHarmony.com, billed as the site for marriage-minded singles and known for cloying TV ads featuring couples embracing to Natalie Cole’s “Everlasting love.” Everlasting is the best way to describe eHarmony’s time-consuming setup.

After you fill out a lengthy personal questionnaire, eHarmony selects matches for you. Before you can email a prospective match, the site requires you to go through a four-step guided communication process. My three-month membership netted me one lackluster date.

I enjoyed a better return on my investment with The Right Stuff, a site for Ivy League grads. I connected with several intelligent, interesting guys and appreciated the site’s etiquette policy, which mandates that you send a polite thanks but no thanks when rejecting a member you're not interested in. I gladly said yes when a 40-something entrepreneur invited me out for drinks at Town restaurant inside the trendy Chambers Hotel.

Town at the Chambers Hotel: A great rendez-vous spot for a first date

Both the conversation and the cocktails flowed as my nattily dressed date and I discovered we were both oenophiles. Not long after our evening at Town, he emailed me and suggested we do a private wine tasting together -- in his apartment. Thanks but no thanks.

As for my new friend from TheSquare.com, we graduated swiftly from email to an engaging phone conversation last night. Who knows? Maybe it’s time to give the online dating marketplace another look.