By The Numbers: Art Of Courtship Edition

When it comes to dating, there’s a lot to be said for the art of courtship.

Over the years, I’ve had the good fortune of dating a variety of men who know what it means to truly woo a woman. In this day and age, that’s no easy feat given how modern mores seem to scoff at the very idea of romance – and imply that being an independent woman is somehow at odds with wanting (and enjoying) the rites of courtship.

During those heady first days and weeks of getting to know a new love interest, I'm a big fan of mixing it up. A combination of spontaneity and planning, of the grand gesture and the little things, goes a long way toward getting off on the right foot romantically speaking. Here are a few of the memorable ways I’ve been wooed – By The Numbers:

Number of men who said it with flowers early on: 5
Number of men whose initial courting tactics included a concert or Broadway show: 5
Number of men who whisked me away on a romantic trip: 3
Number of men who added to my menagerie of stuffed animals: 3
Number of men with whom I’ve done karaoke (and not lived to regret it): 3

My most recent karaoke outing was with hunky cop and Match.com member Rich. He belted out Bon Jovi’s “Dead or Alive,” while I made like Tina Turner and sang “The Best.” Never underestimate the icebreaking effect of warbling after you’ve had a few drinks.

What are some of your top picks for great dates?

By The Numbers: Always A Bridesmaid Edition

You never know what’s going to happen at a wedding. From unexpected mishaps to surprise connections with members of the opposite sex, a lot can happen when two people are celebrating their I Dos.

All dolled up for a colleague’s wedding in New Jersey last weekend

With nuptial season in full swing -- and a second wedding to attend in as many weekends -- I can’t help thinking about the more memorable ones I’ve attended over the years. Here are a few of them, By The Numbers:

Number of weddings attended: 17
Number of times I’ve been Maid of Honor: 4
Number of weddings that led to romance with the Best Man: 2
Number of weddings made more enjoyable by having gay dance partners: 2
Number of men kissed whose wedding date later showed up: 1
Number of weddings at which I accidentally set my hair on fire: 1

That embarrassing moment happened at my dear friend Camilla’s wedding a few years back. I leaned across the table to flirt with a cute guy, and ended up scorching my hair with a candle. The incident spread like, yes, wildfire around the room and everyone had a good laugh. So much for being a seductress.

What engaging encounters await me this Sunday at galpal Cindy’s nuptials? With an Aussie and a few fellow singles sitting at my table, I can’t wait to find out.

By The Numbers: Professional Gypsy Edition

During my ten year journalism school reunion back in April, I attended a panel about reinventing yourself. I couldn’t help thinking about how that phrase has applied to my career before and since attending Columbia‘s j-school.

Reporting Live: That's me with the microphone during my on-air days at WBOC-TV in Dover, Delaware, 2002

It’s been quite a journey from my days as a fresh-faced college graduate to my current profession of travel PR. I’ve written about municipal bonds for a trade newspaper, reported live during a Delaware blizzard and researched business segments for the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

Here are some of the bends in the long and winding road of my career -- By The Numbers:

Number of jobs since graduating from Mount Holyoke College: 10
Number of career changes: 2
Number of small market TV news jobs outside of New York: 4
Number of overseas jobs: 1
Number of years spent working in PR: 4.5

Four and a half years after making the transition to travel PR and joining Quinn & Company, I feel the same as I did when I first started -- fortunate to work for talented, honorable people and to be promoting one of my biggest passions, travel. Even better, I get to do this in the world’s greatest city.

By The Numbers: Old Flame Edition

Today, I’m enjoying a Summer Friday off from work -- and some quality time with my old flame Steve.

We had planned to catch up during my recent visit to Kansas City, where Steve now lives with his wife. He was (understandably) busy celebrating their first anniversary.

City Gal: Steve took this picture of me when he visited NYC back in 2006

This will be the first time in years we’ve had a full day together, so I can’t help feeling nostalgic about the memorable moments we’ve shared since we met nearly eight years ago. Here are a few of them -- By The Numbers:

Number of cities in which Steve and I have reunited: 5
Number of weeks after meeting that we first said those three little words: 2
Number of steamy clinches in an airport parking lot: 1
Number of aborted breakups via email: 2
Number of giant teddy bears Steve has given me: 1

Steve’s thoughtful gestures went far beyond stuffed animals. A man with the soul of an artist, he’s also written me poetry and music -- and has, throughout the trajectory our relationship has taken, always been in my corner.

Whether it’s encouraging me in my literary aspirations or sending me a comforting email on the anniversary of my dad’s passing, Steve never fails to be there for me. We are that rare exception of former lovers who have become friends. And, really, that’s what love is all about.

By The Numbers: Girlfriend Getaways Edition

Next Friday, I’ll be heading to Kansas City to visit my best friend Lisa. We last saw each other in 2008 for a girlfriends getaway onboard Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of the Seas.

Cruising Along: All smiles on Royal Caribbean’s Navigator of The Seas, January 2008

In addition to our high seas adventure, I’ve had the pleasure of traveling with many of my galpals over the years. From wine tasting in New York’s Finger Lakes region to castle tours in Scotland, girlfriend getaways have taken me to some of the world’s most magical places. Here are some of the highlights – By The Numbers:

Number of girlfriend getaways taken: 8
Number of girlfriend getaways involving road tripping and singing in the car: 4
Number of friends who made great roommates despite opposite body clocks: 2
Number of girlfriend getaways leading to unexpected romance with a fellow traveler: 1
Number of getaways featuring celebrity sightings and schmoozing: 1

That star-studded trip was to L.A. with Lisa back in 1997. She spotted Jay Leno at a local supermarket, while the both of us mingled with the cast of “General Hospital” at a fan club event for the show. Good times.

I’m looking forward to another memorable weekend with my best buddy of more than 20 years. And to seeing an old flame who just happens to live in her neck of the woods.

Coming up…flirtatious fun with an adorable European and drinks with this week’s JDate.com guy.

By The Numbers: SGITC Milestone Edition

A lot can happen in nine months -- as I’ve discovered since launching Single Gal In The City last summer.

I recently passed the 300 post mark, a milestone that finds me feeling a little reflective as I look forward to the many more (SGITC-related and otherwise) yet to come. Here’s a snapshot of what I’ve covered -- By The Numbers:

Number of encounters with old flames: 2
Number of overseas trips: 1
Number of celebrity encounters: 6
Number of concerts: 5
Number (approx.) of diary entries from the 90’s revealed: 35

Opening The Vault has been one of the most enjoyable parts of SGITC for me. And since I’ve only delved into three of my 95 handwritten volumes, there’s plenty more from my romantic past -- 300 roses! Bended knee moments! -- to be revisited. And, of course, more romantic adventures in the here and now to be experienced.

After all, when it comes to being a single gal in the city, it’s not knowing what’s around the corner that keeps things interesting.

By The Numbers: Long Distance Edition

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve run into two old friends who have managed to finding lasting love in a bicoastal relationship. As I listened to their stories, I couldn’t help thinking about the role that geography has played in my own romantic fate.

I’ve written often about my California-based long distance love Mark (a.k.a Sparky). But there have been many other times that I’ve felt the impact of geography -- an occupational hazard, no doubt, of having moved away from New York about half a dozen times. Here are some of the more memorable zip code-related benchmarks in my love life -- By The Numbers:

Number of major romances that began in one state two weeks before I moved to another: 1
Number of unexpected flings abroad (with the potential for more) that occurred within days of returning to the US: 3
Number of Toronto high school crushes who didn’t make a move on me until after I moved back to New York: 1
Number of New York boyfriends who resided about an hour away: 2
Number of New York-based beaus that I met on a cruise to the Caribbean: 1

My shipboard romance with Yonkers native Jimmy had both of us appreciating the intervention of serendipity. It turned out we were both on Match.com at the time. Jimmy and I agreed we would never have found each other online because neither of us were willing to explore people in one another's zip codes.

That our paths even crossed was a reminder that sometimes, for as much as it can be a foe in affairs of the heart, geography has the magic touch.

By The Numbers: Facebook Edition

Like Google, Facebook has become a ubiquitous presence in my daily life – and not just because I’m mildly obsessed with pithy status updates.

As millions around the world have discovered, the social networking site is a great resource for connecting and reconnecting with people from your past and present.

In the eight months since joining the Facebook universe, I’ve inevitably encountered a few ghosts from my eventful love life. Here’s how they all add up -- By The Numbers:

Number of old flames I’m Facebook friends with: 5
Number of exes whose friend request I ignored: 1
Number of (now married) stalkers from high school who’ve emailed and IM’ed me: 1
Number of old flames whose profiles indicate they’re now gay: 2
Number of potential new flames with whom I’m in Facebook limbo: 1

That potential new flame would be Seth, a teacher colleague of my cousin’s who’s been emailing me through Facebook almost daily for two weeks now.

Though the site makes it easy to keep friend-ly exes at a distance, graduating to non-Facebook forms of communications can be a challenge. And of the many things that can be revealed through email, physical chemistry most definitely isn’t one of them.

Up next..recessionary pampering and this week’s charitable social outing.

By The Numbers: Valentine's Edition

Today may be Friday the 13th, but my mind is on Valentine’s Day -- an occasion I’ve always had a great affection for.

Any holiday celebrating love is a good thing, and this one has part of its origins in a fellow alum from my beloved alma mater Mount Holyoke College.

Victorian Valentine: A Mount Holyoke alum launched the tradition of Valentine's greeting cards

Artist and businesswoman Esther Howland, who graduated from MHC in 1847, is responsible for popularizing Valentine’s Day greeting cards. After receiving a Valentine from her father’s business associate, she marketed her own brand of Valentine’s cards – and so began the tradition that now keeps Hallmark in business and men scrambling at the last minute through the aisles of Victoria’s Secret.

Single and not, I’ve had more than a few memorable Valentine’s Days over the years. Here are a few standouts – By The Numbers:

Number of significant others with whom I didn’t get to spend Valentine’s Day: 2
Number of men who gave me a dozen roses for V-Day as I spent the evening with another: 1
Number of boyfriends who cut a business trip short to spend V-Day with me: 1
Number of romances that ended just before V-Day: 1
Number of teddy bears received for V-Day from long-distance sweethearts: 2

One of those teddy bears came from my high school sweetie Hogan, at a time when we hadn’t been in touch for awhile. The surprise was a wonderful reminder that Valentine’s Day is a great occasion for reconnecting with people close to your heart – and that it’s never too late to do that.

Up next…a girls night out double header and a look at the sleeper hit “Slumdog Millionaire.”

By The Numbers: Down Under Edition

Seven years ago this month, I made my first trip to Australia. Fortune has smiled upon my love affair with this great country and, on Friday, I’ll embark on my fourth trek Down Under.

As I gear up for my ten-day trip to Sydney and the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef, I can’t help thinking about some of the more memorable moments I’ve experienced on the other side of the world. Here a few of them -- By The Numbers:

Number of Aussie men I locked lips with during my five months as a Sydneysider: 5
Approximate number of beaches visited Down Under: 4
Number of visits to observation deck of Sydney’s Harbour Bridge: 1
Number of Kylie Minogue concerts attended: 1
Number of alpha male Aussie roommates engaged in a serious bromance: 2

Doyle‘s on Watson‘s Bay: This was the view when one of my Aussie roommates took me for a sunlit late-afternoon repast at the renowned seafood eatery

Number of male roommates who took me for a motorcycle ride through Sydney’s majestic Watson’s Bay suburb: 1
Number of Aussie old flames I later reconnected with to find that lightning doesn’t always strike twice: 2

I think, sometimes, the point of reconnecting with an old flame is to confirm why he is, in fact, an old flame. After all, it’s must easier to embrace the future when you’re free of any ghosts from the past.

I'm looking forward to finding out what adventures await me Down Under this time around!

By The Numbers: Auld Lang Syne Edition

During a recent conversation with longtime family friend Helen, she recalled a New Year’s Eve when she donned a cocktail dress -- only to end up at a hockey game with her date.

Her tale of dashed expectations got me to thinking of my own New Year’s highs and lows. As articulated so poignantly in the “Sex and the City” movie, it’s a holiday that can be fraught with peril when you’re single.

Thankfully, in addition to the January countdowns I’ve experienced with significant others, I’ve shared several with family and friends that have made New Year’s Eve an occasion to remember. Here are some of the standouts -- By The Numbers:

Number of New Year’s Eves spent with significant others: 2
Number of New Years spent in Vegas with a boyfriend who later revealed he disliked crowds: 1

Ringing in '97: I donned a balloon animal hat during a new year's double date with my sister and our then-beaus, New York, December 1996

Number of New Years spent watching “The Princess Diaries” after an old flame cancelled at the last minute: 1
Number of New Years spent lining up in the cold with an Aussie galpal before partying at Central Park’s legendary Boathouse restaurant: 1
Number of New Years spent doing an SATC viewing marathon with my cousin and loving every minute of it: 1

Every so often, it's a welcome change of pace to ring in the new year doing something low key with family or friends. This year, I’m not sure what’s on the agenda for ringing in 2009, other than spending it with an Aussie old flame in town for the occasion.

If his visit is any indication, ‘09 is shaping up to be a year full of surprises -- including a few of the romantic variety.

By The Numbers: More Than Friends Edition

When it comes to relationships, the question of whether a man and woman can be just friends is one that tends to come up time and time again.

I’ve experienced my fair share of friendships that veered into mutual attraction territory -- and navigated the equally tricky terrain of attempting to cross back over the platonic line with ex-boyfriends.

Inevitably, I suppose, the latter transition is more difficult. After all, as one of my favorite post-breakup books says, it’s not easy being just friends with someone who once saw you naked.

Still, many of my most memorable moments with the opposite sex have come from rekindling old flames or discovering there’s one worth igniting with a friend. Here are some of the relationships that have straddled the more than friends line -- By The Numbers:

Number of male friends I ended up locking lips with: 3
Number of disastrous flings that resulted in the end of a friendship: 1
Number of post-breakup friendships that led to a romantic reprise: 5
Number of successful ongoing post-breakup friendships: 1
Number of evenings with a friend of five years that have ended with a kiss: 3

The most recent of those evenings, a last-minute autumn encounter when my hunky friend breezed into town, was an exhilarating reminder that some mutual attractions are too strong to deny and worth the potential complications that accompany them.

Coming up…an evening with Bill and Hillary Clinton and a double dose of holiday partying.

By The Numbers: Front Row Edition

Imagine attending more than 700 concerts in your lifetime. Earlier this week, I learned that’s what my friend Cindy’s boyfriend Jason has done (733, to be exact) – which got me to thinking about my own love affair with live music.

Over the years, I’ve had the pleasure of seeing more than 50 concerts, a dozen of which have been my beloved Ricky Martin. Here are some of my most memorable live music moments, enjoyed with and without the opposite sex, By The Numbers:

Number of concerts attended with significant others: 4
Number of Maroon 5 concerts that figured prominently in reconciling with an ex: 1
Number of ‘farewell’ concerts attended of performers who later toured again: 2
Number of times I ended up within the first 20 rows despite having a nosebleed section ticket: 1 (Tina Turner, June 2000)
Number of times I saw Ricky Martin during his 2007 Black and White tour: 4
Number of miles flown to see Ricky perform in Puerto Rico: 3,206

Worth The Trip: Ricky Martin sizzles during his Black and White tour, San Juan, August 2007

I’ve been fortunate enough to see Ricky and some of my other favorite performers (e.g. Bon Jovi, Dave Matthews Band and Tina Turner) multiple times. The band I most want to see but haven't yet -- U2.

Jason has seen U2 five times. I look forward to catching up with him on that front – and, of course, to whenever Ricky hits the concert circuit again.

By The Numbers: Honeymoon Period Edition

When it comes to relationships, there’s nothing quite like the honeymoon period – that time when you’re first falling in love. Everything is new, every moment endowed with anticipation and a sense of discovery.

I’ve been fortunate to experience that blissful high a handful of times, with boyfriends who knew more than a thing or two about romance. Here are some of the standout moments from my ‘honeymoons’ with past beaus – By The Numbers:

Number of days preceding earliest utterance of 'I love you' from a guy: 5

Number of weeks preceding first romantic getaway (to Mystic, CT) with Match.com boyfriend: 6
Number of dates preceding quickest reference to the possibility of marriage: 1
Number of five-month anniversaries celebrated with five dozen (!) roses: 1

Number of candlelit dances before leaving Illinois and returning to NYC: 1

That dance was my first with then-beau Steve, the man who brought love and passion back into my life after a long and often lonely year as a TV reporter in the Midwest.

Dirty Dancing: This 1987 sleeper hit with Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey set the mood for my first kiss with Steve

It seemed fitting that we tripped the light fantastic together – “Dirty Dancing” had set the mood for our first kiss. Much like the first time I watched the 1987 movie classic, I remember it well.

Coming up…Australia the movie’s splashy NYC premiere and a friend’s playwriting debut.

By The Numbers: You Never Know Edition

It’s often said that romance happens when you least expect it. Over the years, I’ve experienced this phenomenon many times.

From NYC’s overcrowded Lexington Avenue subway line to a summer stint as a receptionist, there’s been no shortage of variety when it comes to how I’ve connected with the opposite sex. Here are some of the standout random connections, By The Numbers:

Number of men who jumped out of a car in traffic to get my number: 1
Number of men encountered on NYC’s #6 subway who asked me out : 2
Number of holiday romances produced by friends’ matchmaking efforts: 2
Number of temp jobs that led to a long-term boyfriend: 1
Number of bridal showers that resulted in being asked out by a groomsman: 1

NYC's Essex Restaurant: The kiss that resulted from a bridal shower brunch at this Lower East Side eatery was one of the most lackluster I’ve ever had

You never know when or where the next romantic encounter is going to happen. As I recover from my recent foot surgery, I’m excited to be one step closer to finding out what Cupid has in store for me.

By The Numbers: On The Job Edition

In this day and age of sexual harassment and often-muddled male-female office politics, getting romantic with a co-worker is like walking across a minefield. Still, when you spend 40+ hours a week with the same group of people, the prospect of mixing business with pleasure invariably comes up.

Over the years, the workplace has provided me with more than a few interesting distractions of a romantic nature. Here are some of the ones that stand out, By The Numbers:

Number of co-workers with whom I became romantically involved: 3
Number of co-workers I dated who turned out to be gay: 1
Number of married co-workers who flirted with me: 6
Number of bosses who revealed feelings for me on my last day: 1

The above co-worker made his surprising declaration after a company party that dovetailed with my departure. Equally unexpected was the post-party kiss from him, a kiss so passionate it felt like he was going to pull chunks of hair out of my head.

Fortunately, I emerged from our encounter with my scalp unscathed. It’s safe to say that no job farewell since topped this one. Crossing the line with a co-worker is a lot less complicated -- and a lot more fun -- when you’re on your way out.

By The Numbers: Anniversary Edition

This week marks a milestone of sorts – the three-month anniversary of Single Gal In The City.

Since launching SGITC in July more than 100 posts ago, life has been a veritable whirlwind. From amusing drama surrounding my dalliance with an ex’s best friend (and relief about said ex tying the knot) to schmoozing with the stars of “Sex and The City,” this quarter of ’08 has kept me on my toes and continually excited about single life in the Big Apple.

To celebrate SGITC's three-month milestone, here are some of the adventures I’ve blogged about – By The Numbers:

Approximate number of men mentioned: 14
Number of exes who have gotten married: 1
Number of dates with above mentioned ex’s best friend: 3
Number of run-ins with high school boyfriends: 1
Number of old flames who have become Facebook friends: 5
Number of celebrities met: 6
Number of concerts attended: 5
Number of evenings spent canoodling on my roof deck with hunky longtime friend: 1

As my hunky and impossibly charming friend said, our evening underneath the stars was paradise. You know a kiss is sublime when the mere thought of it weeks later makes you weak in the knees.

I’m looking forward to sharing many more of my romantic escapades. Single Gal In The City has only just begun!

Coming up…a sneak peak at Jeremy Piven’s new Broadway show and more outrageous date tales.