Fun First Date

The other night, I went out with book publishing exec John -- one of the guys I met during my recent HurryDate experience.

Tall, adorable and easy to talk to, John planned a perfect evening of drinks and live entertainment. Our night started off at Aroma, a cozy wine bar in the East Village. Upon asking him how his day was, John said--

“It went quickly having this to look forward to.”

Aroma: a cozy wine bar and great date spot

Over drinks and a couple of appetizers (including a yummy cod-filled ravioli), we shared a laugh about the HurryDate hostess assigning the same number to multiple guys.

We also talked about our respective stints as Toronto residents, a shared affinity for freelance writing and where our international travels have taken us.

From Aroma, we walked over to the Public Theater to see “County of Kings,” playwright Lemon Andersen’s riveting one-man show. Based on his tough upbringing in Brooklyn, Andersen’s intense, brilliantly staged tale covers everything from AIDS and drugs to death and first love. It captivated through to the final curtain call.

After the show, John and I wanted to see how the Yankees were faring in the World Series so we headed to a nearby sports bar. The effortless conversation continued -- and so did the flirting as we started leaning in closer and closer to each other.

By the time we said goodnight, it was no surprise when John bent down to kiss me. John said he’d love to get together over the weekend and I told him that would be great.

Since our date, John reiterated in an email what a great time he had. Curiously, he never followed up about getting together again. But that's the great thing about speed dating -- I’ve got plans with two other HurryDate guys. There's definitely something to be said for dating in numbers.

A Return To Speed Dating

Last night, I headed down to East Village bar Sin Sin for HurryDate – my first speed dating event in well over a year.

Sin Sin: Not nearly as inviting as it looks here

Of the handful of times I’ve participated in HurryDate, this was the most lackluster in terms of logistics. Sin Sin’s downstairs lounge was dark and poorly ventilated. And the friendly hostess was having such a good time that she inadvertently gave the same number to multiple men – a mistake that could’ve led to missed connections because of incorrectly filled out scorecards.

Fortunately, all of this proved to be a good icebreaker during my 12 four-minute dates. It was a very international crowd, with men from Europe, India, Mexico and Hong Kong. And, much to my great relief, I enjoyed meeting most of them.

Handsome Italy-born Paolo and I chatted about Columbia University – my alma mater and his current employer. Charming Brit David impressed me with his dry wit and shared my opinion that London and New York are sister cities.

Of the American born and bred, former Milwaukee resident and book publishing exec John was far and away my favorite. Especially after I discovered that he was one of the men who’d received a duplicate number.

A few minutes after our date, the frazzled HurryDate host came over to tell me the number to which John had been reassigned.

“He told me to make sure you know,” she said.

Meanwhile, soft-spoken New Yorker Assim and I commiserated over our shrinking pools of single friends. Upon informing him that my favorite wingwoman recently married, Assim sighed empathetically and said his go-to buddy is now forever lost to domesticity too.

Of course, there were a few HurryDaters who didn’t leave a great impression. Like the one who said I sound like I’m from Brooklyn (trust me – this is not a compliment). Or the guy who said abruptly—

“You don’t have a lot of free time, do you?”

When I asked what prompted this observation, he said--

“You speak very quickly.”

Not surprisingly, I can’t remember his name.

All in all, for $35 and one hour, not a bad deal. I met a dozen men and enjoyed two glasses of wine for the price of one. That’s my kind of recession-friendly fun!

The Fickle Finger Of Fate

The other day, my trainer Raj told me about a few recent dating mishaps with his new love interest.

Date one ended in his parents interrupting their goodnight kiss, while date #2 found him in a brawl defending her from the advances of some brutish men. Raj’s date suggested that all of the drama was fate’s way of saying they’re not meant for each other.

As he shared this, I couldn’t help thinking about the fickle finger of fate – and the role it’s played in my own love life.

I’m a believer in signs, especially when it comes to make or break decisions about romance. Recently, I was on the fence about continuing to date hunky cop Rich, largely because of opposite schedules and (very) different emotional styles. After an intense two-hour phone conversation, he told me to sleep on it. Upon later discovering that Rich had logged into Match.com within an hour of our heart to heart, I knew for sure it was time to call it quits.

At the other end of the spectrum, I’ve experienced how the hand of fate can make romance happen against all odds. For me, there’s been no greater example of this than my ill-fated love affair with California-based Mark (a.k.a. Sparky).

A confluence of events led to our unlikely meeting back in ‘94. Knowing we were fans of “NYPD Blue,” a family friend invited us to watch the show filming in the East Village -- an invite that arrived while I was home from college on spring break. I happened to visit the set just a few days before Sparky headed back to L.A., and the rest, as they say, is history.

Though neither Rich nor Sparky turned out to be Mr. Right, they both reinforced my belief that every significant other crosses your path for a reason. If you’re lucky, each partner teaches you something -- whether it’s about yourself, or about what you want (and don’t want) in a partner.

That’s the thing about fate -- it‘s usually a lot smarter than we give it credit for.

Exit The King: A Royally Good Time

Friday night, my old flame and good friend Steve and I went to see “Exit The King.”

A revival of the 1968 Eugene Ionesco comedy, “Exit The King” is the tale of a 400-year-old monarch coming to grips with his mortality. The king’s first wife Queen Marguerite (Susan Sarandon at her acerbic best) bluntly tells him his fate, while current Queen Marie (a luminous Lauren Ambrose) refuses to believe the end is near.

Behold the monarchs: Lauren Ambrose and Geoffrey Rush in “Exit The King”

Ambrose is excruciatingly heartfelt in her impassioned pleas to King Bergeron (Geoffrey Rush) to will himself to live. Rush turns in a sublime performance -- truly worthy of his recent Tony Award win -- running the gamut of emotion from sentimentality to slapstick. He infuses each line with a lyricism that makes every onstage moment a riveting one.

After the show, Steve and I had a chance to get up close with the cast, all of whom graciously posed for pictures and signed autographs.

Susan Sarandon and me: The Oscar-winning actress is ageless and refreshingly approachable

Rush seemed (understandably) tired but made sure to greet everyone in the crowd – a few of whom had seen the show multiple times.

Having indulged our inner Broadway fan, Steve and I headed downtown for drinks at Telephone, an Anglophile-themed watering hole in NYC’s East Village.

Over a couple of pints of Hoegarten, we reminisced about old times. Like the Cosmopolitan sex quiz I read out loud as we drove across country when I moved from Illinois to Delaware. And what Steve was wearing when we first met back in ‘01.

He mentioned being unlikely to fit into his old clothes, while I lamented the changes in what he once described as my centerfold stomach.

We had a good laugh about the metabolic shift that accompanies getting older. After all, the battle of the bulge is a lot more manageable when you have good friends to commiserate about it with.

Charitable Event Pick: Starlight Fundraiser

When it comes to extracurricular activities, there’s nothing more rewarding than donating your time to a good cause. My friend and fellow PR maven Lauren is lending her support to the executive committee of the Starlight Children’s Foundation -- and to a fun upcoming event.

The foundation, whose programs are designed to restore joy and laughter to sick children, is hosting a fundraiser at China 1 Antique Restaurant & Lounge in NYC’s East Village.

China 1: The East Village eatery will host Starlight’s upcoming fundraiser

Admission to the event ($40) covers open bar from 7-9pm, hors d’oeuvres, DJ & raffle prizes. I’m looking forward to attending.

The event takes place on Thursday April 23rd. For more information, visit
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=61343386138 .

The Small, Sociable World of Travel Media

When you work in the travel media and PR universe, you quickly come to discover what a small world it is.

While attending a recent birthday party for Adam, a prolific travel writer, I was struck once again by this – and by how much easier it is to meet fabulous gay men than it is to meet equally fabulous straight ones.

I initially connected with Adam, the ex-boyfriend of another travel writer I took on a client press junket a few years ago, through my former colleague and good buddy Morty. At Adam's party at Nowhere Bar in NYC’s East Village, I also met Darren, the editor of a magazine that Adam freelances for.

“I’m sure you’ve sent me many emails that I’ve ignored,” Darren quipped apologetically.

Laughing, I assured him that I know it’s an occupational hazard and didn’t take his cyberspace silence personally.

While catching up with one of my favorite Travel + Leisure contributors, I clicked immediately with his friend Michael. The two had just come from a soiree with a snooty Abercrombie & Fitch-esque crowd – all of whom were aghast when someone inadvertently hit the light switch and ruined the flattering effect of partying by candlelight.

Michael and I talked about the holiday shopping rush and the ups and downs of being single. When I revealed that I’m just one month away from turning 35, he asked—

“Are you worried about your ovaries?”

Amused, albeit somewhat taken, by the question, I told him that I’m not really feeling the urge to procreate this minute, but I became a bit anxious when I received a promotional flyer in the mail from Extend Fertility. The flyer featured the egg freezing company’s founder boasting that she had frozen hers at the tender age of 28.

Michael reassured me I have plenty of time to meet Mr. Right. We parted with a big hug and plans to, of course, become friends on Facebook.

I had a big smile on my face as I made my way home. Sometimes, the best kind of fun with the opposite sex happens when you’re surrounded by men you know you have absolutely no chance with.

Apartment Warming Soiree

Last night, I ventured down to the East Village for my former Quinn & Co. colleague and friend Michel’s apartment warming party.

Located in a historic hotel-turned-residence building on Fifth Avenue, Michel’s cozy new abode is the perfect reflection of her flair for fashion, with fun accents like a Vanity Fair coffee table book and a framed photo of Michel with style icon Betsey Johnson.

Michel’s intimate gathering also reunited me with another former colleague, Danielle. The three of us shared a been there, done that moment about toxic old boyfriends and made a promise to do a girls night out soon.

Girls Night In: Michel, me and Danielle at Michel's fabulous apartment warming soiree

I found a kindred spirit in Michel’s delightful friend Becky. As we sipped on hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps -- the delicious concoction of Danielle’s brother and Michel’s beau Trevor -- Becky and I discovered a mutual affinity for Australia (she studied abroad in Sydney, where I had the pleasure working for five months back in ‘02).

We also talked about the question of how wide a berth to give mediocre first dates. I shared my three-date-minimum rule for men I’m on the fence about, a practice that grew out of not feeling sparks with one particular boyfriend until that very juncture.

Speaking of the opposite sex, Becky and I got onto the subject of strange male behavior. She told me about one date that ended with an ultimatum, with the guy saying his decision about paying or splitting the bill would be based on how she answered the question of whether she really liked him. Awkward.

Sufficiently warmed from the great company and my jacked up hot cocoa, I merrily headed home, happy that my first Saturday night out in awhile proved to be such a fun one.

Family Fun And TomKat At Il Cantinori

Saturday night, I headed down to trendy East Village bistro Il Cantinori for the celebration of my Aunt Lydia and Uncle Joe’s 40th anniversary.

With a 25-year history that has included visits from many famous faces and a cameo on “Sex and The City” (it's where Carrie was stood up on her 35th birthday), Il Cantinori is known for scrumptious Tuscan fare and impeccable, gracious service. The restaurant delivered plenty of both for Saturday night's family soirée.

Tuscan Delight: NYC's Il Cantinori

Hosted by my beloved cousin Dana, the festive 18-people affair took place in Il Cantinori’s downstairs wine room. An event planning maven whose style could give Martha Stewart a run for her money, Dana selected a positively scrumptious menu for us.

After passed hors d’oeuvres that included bruschetta and asparagus wrapped in prosciutto, our meal began with an appetizer plate of grilled calamari and vegetables, and mozzarella and tomato. Next came a pasta sampler featuring rigatoni in tomato sauce, spinach ravioli, and some of the best spaghetti carbonara I’ve ever had. Of three entrée options available, I selected mouth-watering chicken Milanese.

Somehow, I managed to find room for dessert -- a decadent chocolate cake celebrating this month's other milestone, Uncle Joe’s 65th birthday.

As all of us reminisced about memories past and milestones to come (my cousin Melanie, the youngest of all of us, is expecting a baby boy in November), I felt a heart full of gratitude for my beautiful family. And equally grateful that we could be together for such a happy occasion.

Family Bonding: My sister Hilary (front, second from left) and me with our fabulous cousins. From left: Derek, Melanie, Carla and Dana

The celebratory atmosphere continued when, just before leaving, we were informed that a rather high-profile couple was expected shortly.

Sure enough, in walked none other than Katie Holmes, dazzling in an all black ensemble and, with her head tilted coquettishly to one side, smiling warmly as she made her way to Il Cantinori’s back dining room. Minutes later, Katie was followed by Tom Cruise, carrying adorable daughter Suri in his arms. Flashing his signature megawatt grin, he said a warm “hi” to all of us before joining his wife.

Il Cantinori has long been a favorite of Tom’s—he’s also dined there with exes Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman. With its intimate, candlelit ambience and five-star cuisine, it’s the perfect spot for a romantic rendez-vous. Or, as both TomKat and my nearest and dearest experienced on Saturday, for a family affair.