When Flirting Fizzles

Not too long ago, I did a post about flirting at the gym prompted by repeatedly seeing a certain guy there. A recent encounter with him got me to thinking how absence doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder.

As I mentioned before, this guy has made a habit of staring at me. Ironically, after deciding to finally break the ice and say hello, I didn’t run into him for about a month.

My fabulous trainer Crystal, however, did see Mr. Mysterious. She said he would look at her expectantly, like he was waiting to see if I was with her. I’m not so sure, especially after our bizarre exchange the other day.

He walked past Crystal and me to the other side of the floor. About two minutes later, he circled back and approached us -- literally stepping between Crystal and I, gazing intently at me. I gave him my best, most inviting smile…and he just kept on walking.

Now I can certainly appreciate being the shy, silent type (I’ve dated a few of those). And I can also understand treading gingerly before making the first move. What baffles me is spending months skirting thisclose to doing so and not following through.

At the risk of sounding like a ‘rules’ girl, I think sometimes a man just needs to man up and do something. If he can’t work up the courage to do it at the beginning, it’s only downhill from there.

Who knows? Maybe Mystery Guy just enjoys staring.

Love Lessons From My Personal Trainer

I recently celebrated five months with my fabulous personal trainer Crystal. As we talked about this mini-milestone, I couldn’t help thinking that Crystal has outlasted any of the men I’ve dated during this period – and how much easier romance might be if men took a page out of the personal training playbook.

Have Regularly Scheduled Dates: When you’re working toward a fitness goal, you can only get there if you stick to scheduled dates with your trainer. The same applies to love, whether you’re in the throes of new romance or settled into a committed relationship.

Remember Likes and Dislikes: Crystal knows I prefer mat stretching to using foam rollers and keeps me into our workouts by remembering that when structuring routines. Similarly, remembering what your significant other likes and doesn’t like is an important part of sustaining a mutual spark. As the saying goes, love is in the details.

A Little Praise Goes A Long Way: Unlike our fiercely fit First Lady Michelle Obama, I don’t have supermodel upper arms. Which makes me all the more appreciative when Crystal notices a change in my guns for the better and says as much. When you’re dating, a little compliment goes a long way. My current romantic dalliance, HurryDater and PR exec E has a good knack for sweet nothings. There's no better icebreaker.

Communicate, Communicate, Communicate: Crystal and I ended up working together after my previous trainer left to go back to school. Open and honest communication helped us fall into a good groove quickly – just as it does when you’re getting to know a potential sweetheart.

Much like getting in shape, learning the dos and don’ts of dating is a constant work in progress. All the more reason to appreciate good counsel wherever you find it -- even at the gym.