Queen of Quirky Takes Manhattan

Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of catching up with Queen of Quirky blogger and galpal Stephanie.

A Kansas City native, Stephanie and I clicked at the big BlogHer conference in Chicago last summer, finding we had both blogging and journalism-to-PR career trajectories in common. It was Stephanie’s first visit to NYC, so we enjoyed an action-packed girls night out on Saturday.

Girls Night Out: Stephanie and me at Buddakan

The evening’s festivities began with dinner at swanky Buddakan, site of Carrie and Big’s rehearsal dinner and one of my favorite restaurants. It never disappoints and this meal was no exception.

For appetizers, we indulged in chili rock shrimp, taro puff pork lollipops and wok hay frog legs. The gastronomic bliss continued with braised short ribs and shrimp and lobster chow fun, and for dessert, a carrot-ginger cake with cream cheese ice cream that was beyond heavenly. Steph is quite the foodie, not to mention a great cook, so I can’t wait to try her take on Buddakan’s braised ribs.

After dinner, we headed over to the Gansevoort Hotel, where we took in the dressed-to-be-seen scene at both the rooftop bar and Tanuki Tavern.

Big Drink: Steph with Tanuki Tavern’s oversized cosmo

Our last stop of the night -- Irish pub O’Flanagan’s, for some final cocktails and the sounds of cover band Planet Groove. We danced to some classic tunes (“500 Miles” and “Sweat--La La La Long” among them), toasted our friendship -- and talked about how Steph’s hometown will figure into my Grand 2010 Plan.

Stay tuned for the big reveal on Friday!

Opening The Vault: Part Sixty Three

As you cross the one year mark in a relationship, you can’t help thinking about what it’s taken to reach that milestone -- and what it will take to reach future ones. I had all of this on my mind back in 1999, when I celebrated one year with then-boyfriend David.

In The Den: I was sitting here with David during our heart to heart (June 1999)

The beginning of our anniversary weekend got off to a rocky start. A big night out at a charity gala proved to a big disaster while I struggled to cope with David being in one of his silent moods. The evening’s end found us having a tough conversation about our different temperaments. I now Open The Vault and take you back to June of ‘99..

June 21, 1999
New York, NY

Dear Diary,

David said that, at the gala, he had no idea anything was wrong because I just took off with my friend and he assumed I just wanted some girl time.

“I’m not a mind reader and you should’ve told me what was bothering you,” he said.

On this, I had to concede was right and I apologized. Still, I would not back down on the issue of me having to carry the weight of our relationship. I told him back in January that I need him to take a more active role.

His behavior at the Copa was a reminder that I still have to decide what we do when we’re together, to plan everything, and I’m tired of it.

“I feel like those conversations might as well have never happened,” I told him.

“The easy thing to do would be to walk out the door,” David said in a shaky voice. “But I haven’t. I’m trying harder with you than I have with anybody in my entire life. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody in my entire life.”

“I love you too,” I said.

I moved into his arms and we were quiet for a few minutes until D said--

“I’m sorry.”

“I know,” I said flatly. “You always are.”

Squeezing me tightly, he said softly.

“I’m trying, Mel.”

“I know,” I replied.

And we kissed.

* * *
Saturday, exactly 365 days after we met for the first time, D and I decided to recreate our first date and do another pub crawl, this time in my neighborhood. I was feeling very nostalgic -- and then very disappointed when David called to tell me he was too sick to come over. No ‘Happy Anniversary,’ no ’I love you.’

Coming so soon after Thursday’s disaster, this was the last thing I needed. I had reached a breaking point.

* * *

Our anniversary would take another surprising turn, while a trio of weddings forced me to decide my fate with David for better or worse.

The Countdown Rolls On

Two of my favorite blogs -- Sex, Lies & Dating and The Lost Girls -- have undergone a makeover. It must be that time of year because, in just 6 days, Single Gal In The City will be migrating from Blogspot to Wordpress, to a shorter, snazzier domain.

SGITC’s new look will, of course, coincide with the big reveal of my Grand 2010 Plan. It’s a plan that’s been in the works for a couple of months now and I can’t wait to fill you in!

Coming up…a visit from the fabulous Queen of Quirky and celebrating Super Bowl Sunday in NYC.

In Defense of Courtship Rituals

Earlier this week, I received an email from a male reader with an interesting take on my recent romance with PR exec E.

Based upon my posts about E’s knack for planning elaborate dates, said reader assumed his wining and dining me must have had an ulterior motive – to get me in between the sheets.

As I read his (thankfully) inaccurate take on E’s modus operandi, I couldn’t help thinking how the art of courtship seems to be something increasingly scoffed at in the dating world.

Last year, a conversation with my summer fling during a rare night out found us talking about one of NYC’s five-star restaurants. He asked if previous significant others had taken me there and I said yes.

“Those guys were just trying to impress you,” he said dismissively.

And what, I thought to myself, is so terrible about that? Why is it that, according to the new dating rules, men are often considered foolish for wooing a woman, while women who want and enjoy the experience are made to feel guilty for it?

Over the years, I’ve gone out with men who have taken me out lavishly as as well as those who preferred more low-key courting. Neither approach is wrong, it’s simply -- like the type of person you tend to be attracted to -- a matter of personal preference.

During my time with E, he planned a series of great dates ranging from nights out on the town to quiet, cozy evenings in the neighborhood. He was thoughtful about everything and, when it comes to the art of courtship, there’s nothing more than romantic.