Friday, February 5, 2010
In Defense of Courtship Rituals
Earlier this week, I received an email from a male reader with an interesting take on my recent romance with PR exec E.
Based upon my posts about E’s knack for planning elaborate dates, said reader assumed his wining and dining me must have had an ulterior motive – to get me in between the sheets.
As I read his (thankfully) inaccurate take on E’s modus operandi, I couldn’t help thinking how the art of courtship seems to be something increasingly scoffed at in the dating world.
Last year, a conversation with my summer fling during a rare night out found us talking about one of NYC’s five-star restaurants. He asked if previous significant others had taken me there and I said yes.
“Those guys were just trying to impress you,” he said dismissively.
And what, I thought to myself, is so terrible about that? Why is it that, according to the new dating rules, men are often considered foolish for wooing a woman, while women who want and enjoy the experience are made to feel guilty for it?
Over the years, I’ve gone out with men who have taken me out lavishly as as well as those who preferred more low-key courting. Neither approach is wrong, it’s simply -- like the type of person you tend to be attracted to -- a matter of personal preference.
During my time with E, he planned a series of great dates ranging from nights out on the town to quiet, cozy evenings in the neighborhood. He was thoughtful about everything and, when it comes to the art of courtship, there’s nothing more than romantic.