Breaking The Rules

One of the big surprises of thirtysomething singlehood -- apart from the surprise of still being single -- is the attitude shift that happens when it comes to dating.

Call it a learning curve or mellowing with age, but the rules of dating become more bendable as you get older -- a welcome twist I’m rediscovering with Cedric.

The NY International Auto Show: Where Cedric and I first crossed paths

Cedric and I met last month at a gala preview for the New York Auto Show. Smart, adorable and Swiss born (yes, he has a sexy accent), he intrigued me right away.

We ended up sharing a few tipsy kisses and the next day, I found myself emailing Cedric to wish him well on his imminent vacation. He replied immediately, which encouraged me to initiate contact again after he returned a few weeks later.

During my twenties, making the first move after meeting a guy was unfathomable to me. After all, popular wisdom says that if a man is interested, he'll do the follow up, right?

While I’m still inclined to agree with that particular rule, I’m also finding that very liberating to depart from tradition and see what happens.

What’s happened here is Cedric asked me out and we met for drinks last week. The easy banter between us was still the same, the kissing still exhilarating. We’re seeing each other again on Monday.

It’s too soon to tell if all this chemistry will amount to more than a passing flirtation. Then again, isn’t that what breaking the rules is all about?

NY Auto Show Gala Preview: Part Three

My eventful evening after Thursday’s NY Auto Show Gala Preview continued at one of my favorite restaurants, Buddakan.

I felt like anything but a fifth wheel as I accompanied the four guys I’d met earlier to a corner table downstairs.

The Library At Buddakan: The perfect setting for a big night out

At Chris’ prompting, I sat next to Cedric. A Buddakan veteran, Cedric ordered a mouth-watering selection of the restaurant’s best dishes (chili rock shrimp, edamame dumplings and steamed red snapper) -- and placed his hand on my knee.

Dinner conversation included Chris raving endearingly about his wife, whom he met after wooing her away from a friend. When I asked if he’s still friendly with her ex, he said bluntly—

“F**k no, I’ve got a wife [to think about].”

As the saying goes, all’s fair in love and war. Having briefly dated an ex’s best friend once (two years after the breakup), I can appreciate Chris’ pragmatic approach to romance.

After we finished eating, he continued playing matchmaker, leading Ted and Patrick out of the restaurant while Cedric and I stayed behind. We exchanged business cards – and our first kiss of the night.

Clearly a regular of the Meatpacking district scene, Cedric received an enthusiastic greeting from the bouncers at our next destination, the Hotel Gansevoort.

On our way up to the swanky rooftop bar to join the others, Cedric impulsively pressed the button for a different floor, pulling me out of the elevator and into another exhilarating kiss. I was in a happy haze when we made it upstairs -- until I discovered that one of my earrings was missing.

Upon informing Cedric that the gold baubles had been a gift from my brother 10 years ago for getting my master’s, he went off to retrace our steps. Much to my surprise and delight, he returned with the earring in hand.

Accessory crisis averted, I was able to refocus my attention on the standing room only crowd of beautiful people, and mixing a cocktail from the bottle service Chris & Co had sprung for.

As I made my way home around 330am, I couldn’t help marveling all over again at my beloved hometown. When it comes to the element of surprise, no place does it better than the Big Apple.

Auto Show Gala Preview: Part Two

Thursday night, the final hour of the Auto Show gala preview took a surprising turn.

As I mentioned in Friday’s post, Chris – one of three guys from UBS I’d met earlier in the evening – asked if I needed a drink. I soon learned that Chris was married and his newly-arrived friend Ted was engaged, while European-born colleagues Cedric and Patrick were both single.

Chris and I exchanged tales of wine-related travel (he and his wife favor Bordeaux and Napa, I recommended Australia’s Hunter Valley region). Then, the five of us headed into the showroom. Though I had already done a lap around it, I suspected doing one with men in tow might offer a different perspective.

Sure enough, each of the guys were boyishly smitten as they took a seat in several of the floor models. Patrick invited me to join him in a Viper convertible, where he launched into a 10-minute soliloquy about the merits of driving a stick shift.

Behind The Wheel: Patrick gushed about stick shifts while trying out the new Viper convertible

When we caught up with the rest of the group, talked quickly turned to dinner and reservations at Buddakan. Chris invited me to join them and I happily accepted.

For once, being unable to find a cab proved to be a good thing. We ended up leaving the Javits Center in a limo instead (economically priced as just $6 per person).

During the short ride down to NYC’s Meatpacking District, I found myself next to Cedric, who moved swiftly into flirting mode. He took my face in his hands and leaned in to kiss me.

“I’m not going to make it that easy for you,” I said coyly, pulling back.

He quickly got over my (temporary) rebuff, poking his arms through the limo’s open rooftop and waving at passersby.

Upon arriving at Buddakan, we were shown to a corner table downstairs, just past the Chinoiserie where Carrie and Big’s rehearsal dinner was held in “Sex And The City.” The sexiest part of the evening was still to come.

Up next…Jennifer Hudson and Robin Thicke rock MSG and pre-tax day imbibing.

Auto Show Gala Preview: Part One

Last night, I headed over to the Jacob Javits Convention Center for a gala preview of the New York International Auto Show.

Start Your Engines: All smiles at the Auto Show preview

Benefiting East Side House Settlement, a social services agency in one of the poorest sections of the South Bronx, the annual event attracts a friendly, well-heeled crowd happy to mingle for a good cause.

A view of the crowd

While enjoying a turbo 911 cocktail (vodka, white cranberry and soda), I also sampled many of the scrumptious passed hors d’oeuvres (mini mahi mahi tacos, chicken with pesto skewers, deviled quail egg).

Needing a napkin and noticing a group of three thirty-something men by the bar, I decided to kill two birds with one stone.

“Excuse me, Gentlemen,” I said, as I reached my hand between them to get a napkin.

Sure enough, the trio introduced themselves. Colleagues at UBS, Chris, Patrick and Cedric shared their optimism that the economy has hit rock bottom. We all raised our glasses at our good fortune to still be employed and parted company, as I sensed they were in male bonding mode.

I decided to do a lap around the showroom, which was brimming with shiny new vehicles in every color imaginable. I got a look at the new Lexus Rx hybrid and the latest version of Nissan’s Krum. Most fascinating model of the night -- Chrysler’s 200C EV Concept.

Chrysler’s EV Concept: a futuristic ride

A truly futuristic ride, the EV is an electric vehicle with a nob and button-free touch screen dashboard. You can program a maximum speed (useful for parents with teens, as the salesman eagerly pointed out), and even forget about keys. Because the EV is designed so your cell phone can control it remotely. The first manufactured model is due out in 2010.

Back inside the cocktail reception, I was debating where my next destination would be when Chris approached me and asked if I needed a drink. Little did I know my evening was about to take a very fun and unexpected turn.

Girls Night Out At Sato

Sunday night, my friend Bobbi and I headed over to Sato, a new Japanese bistro on the Upper East Side.

Given how many Japanese eateries are in the neighborhood – there’s one on nearly every block – it takes a lot to stand out from the crowd. Sato succeeds, earning high marks for ambience with an inviting, low-lit space, and delivering a fresh take on sushi.

Welcome To The Neighborhood: Sato's inviting, Japanese inspired setting sets it apart from nearby competitors

As I enjoyed seaweed salad, shumai and some heavenly hand rolls, Bobbi and I talked about how we’re going to celebrate turning 35 next month (a spa day and big night out with friends) and about quirky male behavior we‘ve recently experienced. Like the possessive guy who acted jealous then regularly cancelled plans, and the man who began a date by saying he knew I was approaching because of my limp.

On the bright side, we both agreed to step up our socializing in ‘09 by attending fun upcoming events like the gala preview for NYC’s Auto Show. Because, much like trying out a new restaurant, taking the Big Apple by storm is twice as much as fun when you have a good friend to do it with.