Opening The Vault: Part Thirty Two

When a relationship isn’t working, it feels like conflict looms around every corner -- like each moment is a ticking time bomb. My fifth visit to see California-based beau Mark (a.k.a Sparky) had us both on edge and unable to halt the growing tension between us.

A trip to Vegas only made things worse, as we found ourselves disagreeing on many things, including how to spend our vacation time. I now Open The Vault and take you back to the summer of 1995...

June 6, 1995
Las Vegas, NV

Dear Diary,

Today started with me heading to the Mirage Spa while Sparky went to the casino. When I joined him, he continued playing the slots for two hours.

Even though I was hungry and eager to get to the pool, I reached deep inside myself to remain in good spirits. I figured by accommodating Sparky, the rest of the afternoon would be oriented toward what I wanted to do.

Over lunch, he made me believe this himself when he mentioned all of the different places we could go to. I said that all I wanted to do was spend time with him by the pool.

The Mirage Hotel’s pool complex: Mark and I saw little of this during our ill-fated trip to Vegas (photo courtesy: Johnny Jet)

It wasn’t a great meal. Mark spent most of it talking about his experiences with other women, saying I’m the only one he’s dated more than once.

After lunch, Mark said he would meet me in the room in an hour and left me standing in the lobby. I was dumbfounded. Hadn’t we just agreed to spend the day together?

Needing a change of scenery, I left the hotel and went to a mall. I was so hurt, so overwhelmed with sadness and anger. Suddenly, breaking up with Mark seemed like the only recourse I had.

I walked back to the Mirage expecting to find him waiting for me in our room. But as I was passing through the lobby, I heard him call out my name.

My heart stopped. He was still playing Blackjack, having obviously forgotten we’d agreed to meet upstairs.

Later, we went to see the pirate show at Treasure Island. I couldn’t really get into it despite Mark’s efforts to be affectionate. I suggested we go for a sunset stroll afterward, but he was adamant about going to the casino instead.

* * *

The worst of our Sin City debacle was still to come. As fate would have it, though, it was something beyond Mark’s control that pushed me to finally make the decision I had been wrestling with for months.

Opening The Vault: Part Thirty One

Traveling with a significant other can be a bumpy ride -- especially if your relationship is already on shaky ground. A trip to Vegas with California-based beau Mark (a.k.a Sparky) turned out to be anything but a vacation.

The Desperado: Sparky and I rode this legendary roller coaster at Buffalo Bill’s Casino on our way to Vegas

Things started out well enough, with a scenic drive from L.A. that had us stopping at the Nevada border to experience The Desperado, one of the world’s fastest roller coasters. Upon arriving in Sin City, though, our growing differences -- and frustration about being a bicoastal couple -- reached a fever pitch. I now Open The Vault and take you back to the summer of 1995...

June 5th, 1995
Las Vegas, NV

Dear Diary,

As Sparky and I headed down to the casino, my mind drifted to when we went to Atlantic City together and I was so miserable. Tonight, although I was kind of bored, I didn’t mind sitting at the crap table -- because I knew we had a nice evening to look forward to.

My good spirits diminished somewhat, though, when Mark spent so much time gambling that we only had time for fast food before the show.

Arm in arm, we made our way to the MGM Grand for EFX, a special effects-laden extravaganza (3D footage, dazzling choreography and even a little manufactured rain) starring Phantom of the Opera’s Michael Crawford.

I did my best to concentrate on the show, but unhappy thoughts began weighing me down. It started when our waiter accidentally spilled something on the back of Mark’s jacket. I could tell that his mood changed considerably after this.

I found myself wanting nothing more than to go to bed. The combined effects of alcohol and jetlag were getting to me, and Mark’s coldness only made me feel worse.

It was after midnight when EFX ended. I practically flew out of the theater, which prompted Mark to say I was walking too fast and me to tense up immediately.

When he asked me what I wanted to do and I lied and said--

“Whatever you want.”

A fight ensued and Mark sat down to play the slots. Trying to salvage what was left of the night, I suggested we go dancing in the hotel lounge. Mark rejected the idea and an awkward silence persisted for several minutes.

Upon exiting the Grand, Mark held my hand tightly as we encountered a fierce wind. Thinking the inclement weather had softened him, I said hopefully--

“I guess we survived our first fight, huh?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mark replied tersely. “You’re the one with the problem.”

I was furious but too tired to argue over something inane. What I did want to make an issue over was Mark ignoring my request and stopping in the casino for 15 minutes.

How could he be so inconsiderate? I wondered.

* * *

In hindsight, I can’t help looking back at this episode and asking a more obvious question -- how come I didn’t just tell Sparky I was tired and go back to our room? I think I was wary of provoking another argument. Little did I realize that we were on a downward spiral too rapid for either of us to stop.

By The Numbers: Take Seven

When I think about the memorable times I’ve had with significant others over the years, many of the ones which come to mind involved the transporting experiences of travel and pampering. From one of New York’s most romantic locales to the decadence of Sin City, I've gone on quite a journey with most of my boyfriends. Without any further ado, I bring you this latest installment of By The Numbers…

Number of carriage rides through Central Park shared with significant others: 2
Number of men with whom I’ve gone to Las Vegas: 2
Number of boyfriends who spent more time gambling in Vegas than they did with me: 1
Number of men with whom I’ve enjoyed a couples spa treatment: 2

One of the above-referenced spa treatments took place at Elemis Spa in Connecticut’s Mohegan Sun. Elemis is a luxuriously relaxing escape from Mohegan Sun’s sprawling, seasonally-themed casino complex, and also boasts sister locations in Florida and London.

Speaking of spa destinations, one of my new favorites online is http://www.spaparazzi.com/. Edited by industry expert Brenda Lopez, Spaparazzi.com offers the latest spa news as well as tips on organic living, health, wellness, beauty, diet and fitness. It’s the perfect virtual oasis for finding out how to relax and unwind -- something it’s always good to know more about.