Dinner With A British Old Flame

Last week, I met up with E, a British old flame from my college days.

E resurfaced out of the blue in a Facebook email. I couldn’t help appreciating the irony of this, given that he was one of the reasons I hesitated to join Facebook in the first place.

During my junior year in London, E and I were good friends who ended up crossing the platonic line while he was on the rebound. One morning, I woke up to find a troubled look on E’s face. When I asked what was wrong, he responded--

“I don’t know…I just feel less for you than I did before.”

Ouch.

Bar Italia: E and I caught up over dinner at this fabulous UES wine bar and restaurant

Thankfully, it felt like a lifetime had passed since all of this unpleasantness as I approached E at Bar Italia.

Over a delicious dinner al fresco (including a heavenly plate of fettucini amatriciana), we talked about life, love and work. A film editor, E was in town working on the movie “Kick-Ass,” due out next spring. Now married with kids, he was quite inquisitive about why I’m still single, whether I’ve ever been in love, etc. By choice and yes, I answered, adding wryly that he’ll have to wait for my book to find out more.

E thanked me for agreeing to meet him, observing that I had every reason not to. Laughing, I admitted my initial inclination was to say no but then I figured, why not?

I’m glad I indulged my curiosity. Seeing E again put an important period on a brief but seminal chapter in my young adulthood.

As I walked away from him, I thought to myself -- he’s just an ordinary guy, one who happened to teach me the value of proceeding with caution when it comes to romance. And who, by extension, made me appreciate how great it feels to throw caution to the wind whenever you meet someone who warrants it.

Opening The Vault: Part Thirteen

My junior year in London brought with it the opportunity to explore a lot more than just England’s capital. Having been preceded by two years at Mount Holyoke College, my stint abroad was a welcome chance to experience life in a very co-ed setting, Commonwealth Hall.

London's Commonwealth Hall: A 2-to-1 guy-girl ratio made for an eventful year at this college dorm

New love and California native Mark (a.k.a. Sparky) captured my heart during a memorable week together in April. Though I was sad to say goodbye to him -- not knowing when our next encounter would be -- I didn’t let that interfere with enjoying my final weeks in Londontown and reconnecting with some previous suitors of the local variety. I now Open The Vault and take you back to June of 1994….

London, England
Commonwealth Hall

June 10th, 1994

Dear Diary,

As usual on the night of a Commie Hall party, the bar was packed. Still, the party itself (in the cafeteria) was pretty dead, so I decided to go upstairs and bond with Carine for a little while. We lamented our single status and mutual desire to have a fling.

We both decided that Stuart would be my best prospect, so Carine and I went down to Eddie’s room and sure enough, Stuart was there. He greeted me with a big hug and kiss.

“You’re looking very shwingsome tonight,” he said as we left Eddie’s room together arm in arm.

I don’t know if it was because we hadn’t seen each other in a month, but Stuart was noticeably interested in me. Still, I wanted to make sure he knew I had more than platonic bonding in mind…without throwing myself at him. A woman has to plan her strategy carefully in situations like this…

At the party, Stuart and I danced a lot, inching closer and closer to each other with every song. During a breather at the bar, he murmured--

“I have a proposition for you.”

He paused intentionally before adding that he was referring to a possible visit from him once I was back in New York. He asked if I was disappointed he wasn’t referring to another kind of proposition, and I wondered if perhaps I was being a little too obvious. When he squeezed my lower back with both hands, I knew I had nothing to worry about…

* * *

There was a nice bit of symmetry to my reprise with Stuart. We had gone out a few times during first semester then decided to be just friends when one of his friends emerged as competition for my affections. Little did I know that, before my final week in London was over, I would also get reacquainted with the first man to turn my head in England’s capital.

By The Numbers: College Edition

Tonight, I had the pleasure of catching up with my former colleague Danielle and her delightful co-worker Tim. Over drinks at Dive 75 on the Upper West Side, we talked about post-breakup reconnecting with friends, revisiting old flames and memories of college sweethearts.

Both in their twenties, Danielle and Tim also mentioned some of the local bars they visited during their underage years, which got me to thinking about my own days as a college student. Both Mount Holyoke and my junior year in London delivered a healthy dose of memorable experiences with the opposite sex. Here's a look back at my college years - By The Numbers.

Number of romantic distractions during my junior year abroad: 5
Number of students at U-Mass dated: 2
Number of U-Mass boyfriends who happened to be an elementary school classmate: 1
Number of long-distance relationships: 1
Number of professional mountain bikers (with a body like Lance Armstrong) dated: 1
Number of cars crashed in anticipation of a date with said mountain biker: 1

I was doing triple the speed limit in a 25 mph zone the night I crashed my Nissan Sentra on the way to seeing Dave, my sexy, sweet mountain biker beau. Though the car didn’t make it, I was very fortunate to walk away unscathed…and straight into Dave’s arms. Later, he comforted me with a delicious plate of pesto pasta -- and an equally delectable serving of his intoxicating kisses.

Dave was one of the highlights of my senior year -- and a much-needed distraction from my long-distance love in California.

Coming up…my personal pantheon of best kisses and the allure of May-December romances.