Find Your Luvah Party: Part One

Last night, I headed to Hoboken for Purple Lab’s “Find Your Luvah” speed dating party.

Strike A Pose: All smiles at the W Hoboken

Held at the swanky W hotel, the action-packed event promoted the brand’s new Luvah lip color and featured cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, a swag bag and Vh-1 “Tough Love” host and Master Matchmaker CEO Steve Ward.

Known for his no-nonsense approach to dating and relationships, Steve tells it like it is -- and yes, he’s even more adorable (not to mention very, very tall) in person.

What A Charmer: Vh-1 “Tough Love” host Steve Ward and me

His top dating tips -- be yourself, be honest and don’t overthink things.

“Women try really hard and make it really complicated, when it’s really simple,” he said, adding that a little common sense goes a long way.

When I asked him the number one question he gets from single women, Steve said it’s invariably about failed relationships.

“If it doesn’t work out, it’s always about the other person, it’s nothing [women] attribute to themselves,” he said. And yet, he added, women are far more inclined to look inward about their dating behavior when they’re unattached.

His Rx -- do that introspection regardless of your relationship status.

“There’s always something you can do differently, I don’t care if you’re Drew Barrymore or Joe the Plumber,” he said.

Up next…a look at the big speed dating crowd and the two Jersey boys who made my night.

Weekend In Beantown

This weekend, I headed to Boston for my friend and former Quinn & Co. colleague Cristina’s wedding.

At The Rehearsal Dinner: Bride-to-be Cristina and me

Long Island-born Cristina, who has a personality and sense of humor as big as her heart, and Staten Island-bred Chris met six years ago in Beantown when he was in law school. Which is why the couple happily chose New England’s most charming city as the destination for their I Do’s.

The festivities kicked off with a lively rehearsal dinner at Union Oyster House, one of C&C’s favorite local haunts and a place long on both history – it’s a designated landmark and located on the Freedom Trail -- and gracious hospitality.

In addition to meeting the bride and groom’s fun and friendly kin, I caught up with a handful of my current Q&C co-workers as well as our former business manager Annie.

During her lengthy tenure at Quinn & Co., Annie was very much the mother hen – someone you could always turn to for advice, and who you could trust to be the sole of discretion.

A few months after joining the company, I accidentally left my house keys at the office. Following a night with my then-boyfriend, I snuck in early and did the walk of shame to retrieve them, encountering Annie along the way. She smiled sweetly and didn’t say a word.

Annie filled me in about her newlywedded bliss at age 51. As I shared my recent dating ups and downs, she said something I’ve heard many times before -- that love comes when you least expect it and aren’t looking for it.

The next day, before the wedding, I found myself standing beside a cute male guest.

“Are you on the bride’s side or the groom’s?” I said with a smile.

“The bride’s,” he answered. “My wife is in the wedding party.”

Maybe Annie’s right.

Coming up…a wedding to remember and a look at unexpected 180-degree turns in romance.

Live The Life You Love 3: Part Two

Tuesday’s Live The Life You Love panel hosted by SingleEdition continued with a spirited conversation about work and dating.

SingleEdition founder Sherri Langburt led the lively Q&A

Human Resources Consultant Alyson D’Anna talked about the importance of self-promotion when it comes to managing your career.

“It’s the key to creating visibility,” she said.

Career expert Alyson D’Anna

Alyson outlined a three-step approach to personal PR – self inventory, career situational analysis and using information from both to advance yourself professionally. She also advised getting a mentor and perfecting your elevator pitch.

Twenty first Century Guide To Bachelorhood author Brad Berkowitz offered some straight talk about where to meet men and how to shake up your social life.

Author and dating expert Brad Berkowitz

“Expand your horizons by going to new restaurants, clubs and bars,” he said. “Never eat alone [at home], because you’re not meeting anyone but the Domino’s delivery guy.”

When it comes to online dating, Brad suggests having a male friend review your profile before you post it. Speaking of the Internet, he recommended Facebook as a great way to connect with single friends of friends.

Brad also said the gym is a great venue for meeting men – though in my experience, you’ll encounter more endorphin-induced scowls there than come hither smiles.

Offline, Brad and I chatted about how to look approachable when you’re out and about, especially in the bar scene. Guys won’t approach a closed circle, so open it up.

I liked Brad’s take on dating and really putting yourself out there. Stay tuned for an in-depth Q&A with him.

Coming up…an exhilarating first date with one of the HurryDate guys and a look at my favorite NYC spots for singles.

MENu Dating Launch Party

Earlier this week, Haute Look threw a swanky party at NYC’s Bryant Park Hotel to celebrate the launch of “MENu Dating: Taste Test Your Way To The Main Course.”

The new book by Tristan Coopersmith and Todd Johnson offers a fun and fresh take on dating -- encouraging women to go out with as many different types of men as possible without fixating on settling down.

At the MENu Dating Soiree: Tristan and me

Tristan, who’s absolutely charming (and gorgeous) in person, told me that - much like eating tapas, it takes sampling a lot before you know exactly what you like and don’t like.

MENu Dating arose out of a little experiment between Tristan and Todd. Friends since childhood, the two decided to help each other interpret the opposite sex. For 90 days, neither could make a move in their love life without the other’s approval.

“Todd and I dated largely and lively,” she writes, “enjoying each and every moment of it.”

The duo tested their theories on scores of friends, and both Tristan and Todd have found their respective soulmates. You can’t argue with that kind of success.

MENu Dating is a must-read for singles. It’s a wonderful reminder that the road to happily ever after can be an adventure -- especially when you’re willing to step outside of your comfort zone and do some taste testing.

Dating Boot Camp Finale: Part Two

As I was heading out of the Q&A portion of Dating Boot Camp, I was surprised to run into a familiar face -- Patrick, the brother of a guy I dated briefly back in ‘94.

Patrick filled me in about on his family and production gig with a Chinese news service.

We ended up chatting with a British gal about the many rules put forward by matchmakers Matt and Tamsen at Dating Boot Camp. Why, she wondered, should women have to consider so many dos and don’ts when, as Matt said himself during his presentation, men aren’t similarly minded?

I couldn’t help thinking that she had a point. There seems to be an a lot of strategy involved in engaging the self-admittedly simplistic members of the opposite sex.

One eligible bachelor, hunky actor Chance Von Spiessbach gave me his take on how dating in New York differs from other places (England, France, Hong Kong) he’s lived in.

Chance and me at Dating Boot Camp

“Aphrodisiacs vary country to country,” he said. “In New York, the [top] two are power and money -- qualities that have nothing to do with a person’s inside.”

Chance also shared his experience of romances that fizzled out unexpectedly. Like the woman he hit it off with who, after weeks of dating, suddenly stopped returning his calls. He later learned that she was pregnant with someone’s else child.

He admitted there have been times he too has stopped communicating with a woman strictly because of unanticipated developments in his own life. Bottom line, when a man doesn’t call, you shouldn’t (necessarily) take it personally.

Speaking of dating rules, I’ve found a few that seem to work most of the time. Among them -- be yourself, exercise common sense and, of course, don’t be a stalker.

I’ve been on the receiving end of the latter (most memorably, during my high school days). There’s nothing sexy about a date calling to say he’s enjoying the view of your bedroom window from across the street. Especially when you have to see him in class the next day.

Dating Boot Camp: The Look Men Love

Tuesday night, I headed over to Lord & Taylor for Dating Boot Camp with married NYC matchmaking duo and bestselling authors Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal.

After grabbing a glass of free champagne, I took my seat among the sassy audience of about 125 women for a lively two-hour session about “The Look Men Love.”

Dating Boot Camp: Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal with (left) Cosmopolitan editor Ky Henderson and YourTango.com's Tom Miller

Citing a poll of 5,000 singles, Matt and Tamsen confirmed what most of us already know – looks are what attracts a man first (versus financial status and personality, the top two draws for women). And nothing’s sexier than confidence. The kind of confidence, they said, always exemplified by the Bond Girl.

Of the many tips Matt and Tamsen offered women on the prowl (always look your best, maximize your assets, etc.), my favorite was about keeping your eyes open.

“Lift your head and put it on a swivel,” Matt said. “You can’t schedule love.”

He’s right. Especially in a city like New York, you can never underestimate the power of looking around. Smiling at a stranger, or even being bold enough to say hello, can lead to a surprise connection. If nothing else, it offers the opportunity to flirt – a skill that’s always fun to practice.

Coming up…Q&A with the man panel at Dating Boot Camp and dreaming big during a girls night out.