Friday, November 13, 2009

Another Great First Date...To Nowhere

Tuesday night, I enjoyed another fabulous first date with a guy that I met at HurryDate – one that has me rethinking my approach to dating in NYC.

Bombay-born Taz and I met up at the swanky Chambers Hotel in Midtown for drinks. We settled into a cozy corner of the upstairs bar (complete with a sofa and hardcover coffee table books), where the conversation was as smooth as the service and menu selections.

The Chambers Hotel: A great date spot

Over cocktails, yummy appetizers and – unexpectedly – milk and cookies, Taz and I found plenty to talk about. Along with the usual first date subjects of career, travel and hobbies, we chatted about U2’s brilliant shows at Giants Stadium and the merits of speed dating versus online dating, i.e., less time wasted on interminable back and forth.

Though we lingered until closing time, neither of us wanted to call it a night so we walked a few blocks to Papillon, an inviting bistro and bar.

Finally, after nearly four hours of effortless conversation and playful teasing, it was time to say goodnight. Taz leaned in for a quick kiss before taking off.

He texted me the next day to say what a great time he had. And, much like fellow HurryDater John, that’s the last I heard from him.

Having gone on two great first dates to nowhere in a row now, I can’t help thinking about the lopsided female-male ratio here. And how it breeds a plenty-of-fish mindset among NYC men – especially among those who belong to the thirtysomething age bracket.

I’m also thinking that I had it right in my early twenties when I dated older men. It’s time to up the age ante and go for the fortysomething bachelors.

Coming up…my first Twitter flirtation and another HurryDate date.


Single City Guy said...

First dates is that weird territory where you can be more relaxed and open completely to the person of your interests. I'm wondering if he wanted more from the long date (like you to come home).

On a first date if a woman leaves some mystery, I would want to follow with a second and a third.

Anonymous said...

you say both men said they had a good time, one by email, and one by text. What are you saying when you reply to there email and text that is scaring them off?

Do you suggest a second date when you reply, do you reply by email, text or with a phone call

or are you not repying?

Anonymous said...

It sounds like if a guy doesnt respond on your exact timetable, you put him on the chopping block.

Tip to SGITC, men are not on the same biological time frame as women. Relax.

Melissa said...

Single City Guy -- Thanks. If he wanted me to come home and I left some mystery, then I'm still baffled why there was no follow up after the had-a-great-time text.

As for scaring either man off with my reply, I don't think that applies here. I responded to an email with an email, and a text with text simply stating that I too had fun. No second date suggestion was made.

In terms of being on the same biological time frame, of course men and women aren't. But my experience has been that when a man is truly interested, he initiates a second date within a one-week period. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that kind of follow through when you're in the your thirties.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree, Melissa. And I must say, the tone of your comments seems much more authentic than that of your posts, sometimes.