A Holiday Party

Friday night, I hosted a dozen friends at my third annual holiday party.

This year, along with the usual spread of cold hors d’oeuvres, I brought in White Castle sliders and pigs in a blanket. Hot comfort food goes a long way when the mercury drops -- even my trainer Crystal was all for the caloric indulgence.

Celebrating The Season: (from left) Cindy, Rachel, me and Jason

Travel was one of the hot topics of conversation. Galpal Cindy and hubby Jason filled me in on their upcoming trip to Costa Rica, while my friend Prince shared his plans to visit Tanzania after the new year. My 2010 travel resolution -- see more of the U.S., especially cities with a happening singles scene.

Fellow dating blogger Lost Plum and I talked about mining the past for material during present romantic droughts, and she also told me about the stalker who wants consent to use her likeness in his upcoming book. Only in New York.

Toward the night’s end, pals Andrea, Rachel and I settled in for some kvetching about singlehood in NYC.

As we shared stories and a few laughs, I was reminded of how lucky I am to have such great friends -- friends who make the holiday season something to celebrate.

What's your favorite part of this time of year?

Celebrating 2ChicksINC At Cellar Bar

Thursday night, I headed over to the swanky Cellar Bar at NYC’s Bryant Park Hotel for a tweetup organized by social media maven and dating blogger Simone Grant.

Cellar Bar: The cavernous, candlelit space is long on ambience and service

Celebrating the launch of new website 2ChicksInc, the gathering attracted about 35 Twitterers and gave me the opportunity to finally meet in person some of my favorite fellow bloggers. In addition to Simone, I chatted with The Lost Plum, Under-Employed Girl and Tomfoolery, as well as Yahoo dating columnist and author Andrea Syrtash.

I ended up spending most of the night talking to Peter, a charming IT systems designer with a penchant for helping bloggers revamp their sites in his spare time. Born in Germany and now living in Utah, Peter shared his take on the differences between U.S. and European dating. Dating abroad, he said, is an easy, organic process.

“Here, it’s like a job interview,” he observed.

An especially tough job, no doubt, when you’re residing in Mormon country where most folks marry young. I assured him he’ll find a completely different -- and, of course, much more populated -- singles scene when he moves here for a three-month stint.

Who knows? Maybe I can help show him the ropes.

The Small World Of Online Dating

When you live in a city where single women outnumber their male counterparts by 200,000, it often feels like the universe of available men is a finite one – especially the universe of online dating.

After posting a recap about the singles party that I recently hosted, I heard from a reader who was curious about one of my guests -- JDate.com member and radiologist Jacques, whom I went out with once last spring. It turns out that, six years ago, she also dated Jacques briefly after meeting on a singles trip.

My friend Andrea had her own experience of what a small dating world cyberspace can be. During a night out in Central Park, she ended up sitting next to three girls talking about dating. She overhears one of the ladies mention by name a Match.com guy that Andrea herself had gone out with a few times the month before.

“I just start laughing hysterically,” Andrea says. “She had the same thoughts about him as I did. I so wanted to tell her to go with her gut, but I kept my mouth shut.”

The longer you’re part of the online dating marketplace, the more you find yourself running into the same cast of characters. I’m hoping there won’t be any familiar faces when I make my long-awaited return to speed dating tonight.

The one significant other that I met through speed dating tied the knot last weekend. As I do all of my other exes -- well, most of them anyway – I wish him all the best. Even though it means the pool of old flames whom I can beat to the altar is almost officially dry.

Rationally speaking, I know it shouldn’t be a competition. But, to paraphrase something Sex And The City’s Samantha once said, there’s always a competition with your ex. What’s rational thinking got to do with it?

Blast From The Past

When it comes to old flames, I’ve experienced my fair share of those inclined to make unusual requests.

One married ex suggested we go on a double date with his wife and my then-boyfriend. Another insisted I meet his live-in love -- the morning after he and I had shared a few passionate kisses. The most unexpected request, though, happened yesterday with E, an old flame from my college days.

E and I were good friends until a disastrous brief fling. In a Facebook email aptly titled “Blast From The Past,” he informed me that he was coming to New York today.

I was more than a little surprised to hear from E given that we hadn’t seen or spoken to each other in more than a decade. And even more surprised about what prompted his email -- a need for last-minute accommodations.

“If not you,” he asked, “Do you have any friends I might be able to stay with?”

He tempered this “super-cheeky” request by suggesting we catch up during his short visit. Here, I opted to oblige him.

Coming up…celebrating National Singles Week and, at long last, U2!

The Unexpected Love Connection

When you’re a thirtysomething single and you encounter women who’ve found their lifetime partner, you invariably find yourself asking – how did you meet him? After a recent exchange of this kind, I couldn’t help thinking about the unexpected ways in which someone special can cross your path.

While attending a chick lit lecture the other night, married gal Marissa and newly-engaged Wendy filled me in about their respective roads to happily ever after. Marissa met her hubby in a Brooklyn bar, only to discover later that they lived just four blocks from each other. Wendy, meanwhile, got lucky at a singles boat party she grudgingly attended at the insistence of her friends.

Their stories reminded me that, statistical probability be damned, you never know when chemistry will ignite. This weekend, I’m going on a date with Ali, the friend of a friend’s new husband. We met at the newlyweds’ moving-to-the-burbs party, where a romantic prospect was the last thing I expected to find.

That’s the thing about being unattached in New York. Thanks to the element of surprise, the next adventure is always right around the corner.

A Taste Of France With Friends

Last week, I joined my friend Katherine for an intimate gathering at her French beau Bernard’s rooftop terrace.

Along with easy conversation, we enjoyed some French delights, from a selection of cheeses to chilled wines that included a heavenly Bordeaux.

Rooftop Fun: Katherine and me enjoyed a balmy night under the New York sky

A handful of Katherine’s charming and, to my great delight, single male friends were on hand, namely two charismatic Brits, Mudi and Nick.

Nick and I talked about our respective careers in PR – happily discovering Nick has worked with one of my best buddies in London and a mutual affinity for Australia. I learned he’s been Down Under seven times. I said that, for me, four times and five months in Sydney simply isn’t enough.

I also hit it off with visual artist Claire, recently back from making a splash in Venice and having her work featured in the New York Times. We mused about the allure of trying on other destinations for size and the perils of dating in NYC.

Mudi disputed my assumption that men in Gotham have it easier based upon the lopsided male-female ratio here. I was surprised, given that he has the additional advantage of an irresistible accent.

Yes, singlehood in the Big Apple has its ups and downs. All the more reason to be grateful for fabulous friends who throw impromptu parties where singles can commiserate or, ahem, connect.

Unconventional Dating Tactics

A colleague of mine recently told me about Tamara, a fellow single New Yorker, and her new blog chronicling her quest to go on 31 dates in as many days. Her clever idea got me to thinking about unconventional tactics for meeting the opposite sex -- and how inspiration for finding some of your own often comes from the most unexpected sources.

Single New York Female: This 31-year-old journalist is keeping busy with 31 dates in 31 days

Having always been a pretty outgoing person, I’m no stranger to being adventurous about broadening my romantic horizons.

Along with trying non-traditional venues (speed dating, Match.com, etc.) before they became mainstream, I’ve consulted a matchmaker (though I balked at her $11,000 introductory fee) and posted a “Lady In Waiting” ad on my building’s bulletin board.

When you live in a competitive dating marketplace like New York, thinking outside the box can go a long way towards increasing both the number of men you meet and the odds that you’ll click with one of them.

Tamara’s dating marathon has inspired me to get back out there and redefine what it means to be 35 and single in the Big Apple.

What’s the most unusual approach you’ve tried to land a date? Let me know and I just might give it a try myself!

Making Room For Romance

The other day, a 60-something neighbor of mine came by to fill me in about her recent reunion in Sweden with a long-distance love from years ago. Though the reunion didn’t turn out as she had hoped, it did confirm one thing.

“I’m tired,” she said, “of being surrounded by women.”

Her epiphany that she is ready to find love again got me to thinking about a subject that’s come up more than once lately – how easy it is to fill up your life so much that there’s no room for romance in it.

Ko Sushi: Delicious Japanese fare, great service and the setting of a recent conversation about singlehood

Over dinner at neighborhood delight Ko Sushi, my friend Lauren rhapsodized about the joys of living alone. In the same vein, one of my cousins recently mentioned how happy she is with her life as a 30-something single, a sentiment I share.

As I told my newly romance-minded neighbor, New York is the ideal place to be an independent woman flying solo. Some of this is because we’re in the majority (I once read somewhere that there are approximately 100,000 more single women in the Big Apple than single men). The rest is because when you live in NYC, with its endless parade of engaging diversions and interesting people, you’re never really alone.

Still, for as much as I’m enjoying my love affair with New York, I can’t help thinking it might be time to start carving out more space for a different kind of long-term relationship. I’m looking forward, once I’m fully recovered from my recent foot surgery, to being on the prowl again -- and to all of the fun that goes along with it here in my hometown.