Sunday, September 21, 2008

Outrageous First Dates: Verse Two

When I think of outrageous first dates, I invariably recall the two men who disrobed uninvited -- my ex’s best friend H and Travis, the hunky Australian I met during my stint as a Sydney resident six years ago.

A boat dealer who played rugby in his spare time and had the body to show for it, Travis came onto me while he was in town from Perth. We spent an evening together with mutual friends, eventually locking lips at a local pub. Back at our friends’ house, Travis excused himself while I curled up under a blanket on the couch. I was more than a little surprised when he slid in next to me -- completely naked.

When I informed Travis our attraction would go unconsummated, he didn’t seem to grasp why. After all, he reasoned, I was an American woman on holiday, why not? With a rationale like that, I could only respond one way. With uncontrollable laughter.
For Virginia native and blogger Kristen (, a first date in college with a Marine turned out to be anything but amusing. He showed up 45 minutes late, with 5 drunken Marines in tow. His friends proceeded to tell loud stories and tried to start fights with everyone.

“He called every day the next week going on and on about how great a time he had and when were we doing to do it again,” she says. "Um, never? Worst. Date. Ever.”

A blind date quickly turned into a disaster for Lizzie B. After a “trust test” at a bar, in which she was instructed to fall back with her eyes closed, Lizzie’s date took her to Chuck E. Cheese's for dinner to “test how fun” she was.

Chuck E. Cheese's: Great for kids..but not so much for a first date.

“He proceeded to order the 'family pack,' tell them our children were playing in the balls and then set up plates and cups for our imaginary offspring,” she says. “I would have fled if I had my own car.”

Hoboken resident Marah was surprised when the finance guy she connected with on showed up with two companions -- his pet ferrets Vinny and Daisy.

“This was wrong on so many levels I am not sure where to begin,” she says. “The date lasted about 30 minutes and included a [memorable] conversation about his root canal that week. Vinny and Daisy were getting cold, so he needed to take them back in.”

Like I’ve often said, the redeeming part of a bad date is it leaves you with a great story and a good laugh. I still chuckle when I remember Travis’ disbelief that an American girl would reject the advances of an Aussie rugby player. What can I say? There’s only so far I’m willing to go to promote international relations.

Coming up…sky-high fun at ”Boeing, Boeing” and the scene at a wifebeater t-shirt party.

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