Monday, January 11, 2010
How Slow Can You Go
A friend of mine recently told me she was advised not to see her new beau on Sunday because that’s a ’relationship day.’
Along with the absurdity of this so-called dating rule, I couldn’t help thinking about how romance unfolds -- and how tricky it is to know whether you’re going at the right pace.
When it comes to relationships, I’m a veteran of the warp speed variety. There was the long-distance love who mentioned marriage on our first date. And the Yonkers native who said those three big words only four days after we met. Did I mention the dog lover who declared, after one month, that he’d stopped seeing other women immediately following our first date?
Having spent so much time in the dating fast lane, I find myself wondering what (if anything) it means when a relationship develops more slowly. Does getting together on a weekly basis mean there’s a lack of urgency, of passion?
Not according to my wise best friend Lisa. Lisa says taking things slowly is a sign of maturity, of getting to know a potential significant other before investing too much emotionally.
She may have a point. I don’t have to look any further than my late and adored parents for a great example of the slow burn.
For years, Mom and Dad were colleagues at odds. When, much to her surprise, he asked her out, she based her answer on his reputation as a ladies man.
“When I want to belong to a stable,” she said without missing a beat, “I’ll invest in some horses.”
Needless to say, she eventually changed her mind.
Maybe there’s something to be said for keeping your foot off the relationship accelerator. After all, you never know what's right around the corner.