Sunset in Sedona: My first trip with David included a jeep tour of Sedona’s red rock mountains (January '99)
David and I headed to Arizona to visit college friends for new year’s. I now Open The Vault and take you back to ‘99...
January 2nd, 1999
David and I are more than halfway into our four-day getaway and, amazingly enough, we’re not sick of each other. In fact, being with him 24/7 is much more fun and romantic than what I’ve experienced with other men.
Okay -- that’s the good part. Since nothing in life is ever perfect, neither is what’s transpired between us during this trip.
David has fallen into the habit of only saying the l-word when we fool around. Compounding my frustration about that are certain comments he’s made over the last few days.
He told me I was being a showoff after I trotted out the video of my on-camera reporting debut to show to our friends. And after I did a provocative karaoke performance, he said curiously--
“I don’t know how you do it.”
Translation; David is a shy person by nature, so he couldn’t fathom how I could get up and sing in front of a large crowd.
I am an outgoing person. Can David, being as reserved as he is, accept that? He says he wouldn’t change me for the world, but his comments this weekend tell a different story.
I love him. But I’m scared of the differences between us.
* * *
January 3rd, 1999
I still think David is the best man that’s ever come into my life. But I fear our differences could become a problem down the road. It was these differences that had me running scared back in October, when I split from D for two miserable days.
Sigh. I could just hear what Mom would say about my overanalyzing. She would tell me to go with the flow and remind me that borrowing trouble from the future will not deplete the supply. As usual, she’s right. If only she were here to tell me that herself.
* * *
David would continue to support me in navigating life without Mom. As I emerged from my grief, though, the dynamic between us would begin to change -- bringing my worst fears to the surface.