When Desire Trumps Etiquette

In this post-Sex And The City era of dating, it’s not uncommon for etiquette to take a back seat to physical desire. I couldn’t help thinking about this during a recent conversation with fellow single thirty something Ujji.

Ujji mentioned a guy that told her it was over because she wouldn’t perform a certain sexual request of his -- on date #4. Her tale prompted me to share the now-infamous story of H, a 40-year-old real estate attorney I dated briefly with a libido as large as his ego.

H’s inappropriate antics began with sprawling out naked uninvited on my bed at the end of a singles party I hosted -- and continued with repeated attempts to push the envelope physically.

“With anyone else I’ve dated, I would have had sex ten times by now,” he said about 10 days into our ill-fated dalliance.

Later that night at my place, I returned from the bathroom to find H sitting on my couch -- without his pants or underwear on. I was aghast, not to mention anxious from a hygiene standpoint (who knows if scotchgard covers bodily fluids?). The evening was our last for nearly a year, until H resurfaced, exhibiting much greater restraint.

When it comes to physical intimacy, everyone has their own idea for how quickly it should unfold. Call me old fashioned, but I much prefer a timetable that allows plenty of room for romance. Or, at the very least, doesn’t damage the furniture.