Saturday, July 18, 2009

Opening The Vault: Part Forty Three

A true crisis can test the mettle of even the best relationship -- and have you wondering if you’re better off going your separate ways. That was the difficult question I was asking myself back in September of ‘96, nine months into my relationship with then-boyfriend Larry.

I had just learned that, after seven years in remission, my mother’s breast cancer had returned. The devastating news coincided with a period of great tension between Larry and me. I now Open The Vault and take you back to September of 1996...

New York, NY
August 14th, 1996

Dear Diary,

It’s been a very rough week. While Mom was in the hospital for a biopsy procedure, there was a complication and her lung collapsed. Memories of Grandpa’s final days on a respirator came back in the most frightening way.

Thank God, she came home yesterday. My friends have been unbelievably supportive. I’m sad to say, though, Larry has truly let me down.

A Day I’ll Never Forget: I was here at work when I learned that Mom’s cancer had come back

Upon informing him of Mom’s condition, I said he would have a tough job cheering me up.

“Well, maybe I’m not the man for the job,” he said.

With those words, Larry sealed his fate the second older man I would walk away from. Though I’ve always known our involvement would be of finite duration, I never expected he would fail to be there when I needed him the most.

When Larry failed his CFA exam and acted like it was the end of the world, I was there for him. There’s no excuse for what he said to me the other day. Sure, he’s called twice since then full of sympathy and concern, but it’s too little too late as far as I’m concerned (and others too -- I’ve polled the masses).

* * *

September 22nd, 1996

Despite his tremendous gaffe a few weeks ago, Larry is still in the picture. After giving him the silent treatment and telling him how much he’d hurt me, Larry displayed the right amount of remorse and apologized.

And given our tiff that immediately preceded Mom’s hospital stay, I can understand his assumption that I wouldn’t want to see him.

Most importantly, Larry’s track record overall is flawless. Every other time when I’ve had a problem, he has given me support and understanding….and some great body massages, but that’s another story!

* * *

Larry and I coasted along for a few more months. But an encounter with an old flame would find me reexamining whether it was finally time to move on.

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