Opening The Vault: Part Forty Three

Rekindling an old flame can be either a romantic stroll down memory lane or a recipe for disaster (or, sometimes, both). With my high school prom date Hogan, it was unequivocally the former when we reunited during the fall of 1996.

All Smiles: Hogan took this picture of me and our good friend Linda, Toronto, October 1996

At the time, my relationship with then-boyfriend Larry was on the rocks, as I struggled to cope with my mother’s breast cancer. I desperately needed to get away, and so I did -- to Toronto, my former hometown, and Hogan’s loving arms. I now Open The Vault and take you back to October ‘96...

Toronto, Ontario
October 11, 1996

Dear Diary,

Hogey and I spent much of last night reminiscing about the prom and people we knew during our high school days. Then, with some Bordeaux and candlelight to complete the mood, we settled in for some smooching and what was one of the most fulfilling, memorable conversations I’ve ever had with a man.

We talked at great length about our romantic expectations and philosophies on relationships. We are remarkably close in thought on so many things.

It dawned on me that, once again, a man I could have something serious with is too many miles away. But, then again, I wouldn’t change a thing about what Hogan and I have. I think it’s because of the distance that we’ve remained part of each other’s lives and I want that to continue.

At one point, during dinner, I was telling him how my best friend in college had let me down after she moved back to Malaysia. Hogan reached across the table and took my hand. He’s so loving and compassionate. Maybe someday, I’ll be lucky enough to find a guy like him in New York.

* * *

October 14, 1996

After a passionate morning cuddle, Hogey and I walked hand in hand around his neighborhood. He gushed about the spendours of fall and coming to visit me in Kansas if I move there someday to work for a local TV station.

At the airport, we held each other and said what a great time we’ve had. Squeezing Hogan’s hand, I said--

“Don’t ever change.”

He smiled, as he said--

“I’ll change -- but we’ll change together, like we have all of these years.”

I couldn’t agree more. We kissed tenderly before walking arm in arm to the gate. We embraced again.

“I’ll miss you,” Hogan said, kissing me one more time.

“I’ll miss you too,” I said, pulling him even closer. We stole one more kiss and our hands slowly parted as I walked toward the gate. I kept looking back at him until he blew me a final kiss and left.

I told Hogan I have two male categories -- one for the disappointments I’ve dated and another strictly for him. He’ll always be special to me. And I have a sneaking suspicion that the feeling is mutual.

* * *

My blissful reunion with Hogan found me questioning the merit of continuing things with Larry. Once I was back in New York, it didn’t take long for me to do something about it.