The Bendable Rules of Dating

Last night, during a family getaway in Jacksonville, my cousin C received a random text message from a guy she met recently at a bar. The “Happy Thanksgiving, Beautiful” missive was a surprise, given that he had abruptly told C it wouldn’t work between them because she wasn’t available on the night he wanted to get together.

As I listened to C’s tale, I couldn’t help thinking about some of the unexpected communications I’ve received from the opposite sex -- and how some dating rules seem to bend the longer that you’re single.

Like my cousin, I received a text message out of the blue in September from H, a 40-year-old real estate lawyer (and my ex’s best friend) who disappeared after we had reconnected two months before. The message was a last-minute invite to a Mets game. I laughed, amused by the brazenness of his request.

Strike Three: A last-minute Mets game invite led to another go-round with my ex’s best friend

A few days later, I opted to give H another chance -- something the more rules oriented me in my twenties probably wouldn’t have even considered.

With my 35th birthday less than two months away, I like to think I’ve become more open minded about giving chemistry some time -- specifically, a maximum of three dates -- to develop.

Most recently, I’ve gone out three times with a journalist of British descent. All of those evenings passed without any attempt by either of us at a kiss goodnight. I’m happy to exceed my three-date rule and see what happens on a fourth date. If no sparks materialize, then I’ll say sayonara. Because some dating rules, especially those governing the laws of attraction, can only be bent so far.