Friday, October 24, 2008

By The Numbers: Letting Go Edition

Having been through seven serious relationships, I’m no stranger to the roller coaster ride of breaking up. While no two breakups are alike, all have one thing in common -- the joy that accompanies letting go of the past and moving on.

I’ve found that moving on from a relationship is a process that happens in stages. Given the time it takes to carve out room in your life for someone special, it makes sense that it’s a process to reconfigure the space created by his exit.

From my shorter romances (4-6 months) to my one-year+ entanglements with the opposite sex, I’ve experienced time and again the exhilaration of leaving a relationship comfortably in the past. Here are some of my moving on milestones -- By The Numbers:

Average number of breakups per boyfriend before final split: 2
Number of exes with whom I managed to make the lengthy transition to being just friends: 4
Number of exes with whom I’m still friendly: 1
Number of meals spent celebrating my ex’s nuptials and dodging the bullet of Mr. Wrong: 1

Boqueria Restaurant: Sublime tapas and a great place to toast
escaping Mr. Wrong

Number of years it took me to part with jewelry from my first love: 3
Number of years it took to discard many of his cards and letters: 10

One of my favorite post-relationship books, The Breakup Repair Kit, advises having a ceremonial bonfire of ex-boyfriend mementos. I’ve opted instead to hold onto some souvenirs of the past. Partly because I’m a packrat and partly because even when Mr. Right For Now turns out be Mr. Wrong, it’s good to have tangible reminders that love is always worth the gamble.


Adoll said...

omg! I found your blog from facebook!

amazing dude! and LUCKY U !! U had a pic with Carrie! "SJP" I will always love this person!

And wish for you to find "your" Mr. BIG :)

Melissa said...

Thanks! It took five visits to the set of SATC the movie to get that pic with SJP, and she was real sweet. When I thanked her, she responded, "Thank YOU."

My search for my Mr. Big continues. In the meantime, I'll settle for another Chris Noth sighting. :-)