Thursday, October 23, 2008

Outrageous First Dates: Verse Five

When I think about outrageous first dates, I invariably recall previous blind dates -- particularly the ones I’ve experienced which made me think the matchmaker was, in fact, blind.

Like well-meaning family friend Dorothy who set me up with her stepson. Dorothy said she was baffled by the fact that he was still single and I looked forward to meeting what sounded like a very eligible bachelor.

I had a feeling rumors of his charm were greatly exaggerated when he showed up to meet me wearing an old sweatshirt and thick gold chain. Call me crazy but appearance matters, especially on a first date.

Merchant's East: Trendy restaurant and lounge and site of an outrageous blind date

Over drinks at Merchant’s on the Upper East Side, Mr. Eligible proceeded to share his pet peeves about, well, everything, including life in New York. I couldn’t decide what was more unattractive, his attire or his attitude.

For my friend Louise, too much information took on a whole new meaning when a date casually mentioned he was a fan of erotic asphyxiation. He also revealed that he likes to choke sexual partners in the throes of passion without asking them first if they share his proclivity for it.

Talk about leaving a bad taste in your mouth.

Cleveland native Julie had her own brush with outrageous behavior on her first and only date with a guy she met online.

Boasting that he had a great coupon for the restaurant they went to, he instructed Julie on what she was allowed to order.

“He was very into it, trying to make sure that there was absolutely no expense for my meal,” she says. “I thought - jeez, I can pay for it if it's that big a deal.”

After dinner, Julie’s date shifted his attention from saving money to saving her soul. During the drive to a nearby watering hole, he put his hand on hers and asked if he could pray for her, saying aloud “God, bless this woman. She is young and in need of your guidance."

He then presented Julie with a CD of Christian music -- and a few other parting gifts.

“He pulled out his coupon book and started asking me, ‘would you use this Taco Bell coupon?’ ‘Do you eat at Arby's?’ and tearing out individual coupons and handing them to me,” she says. “He must have gone through the entire book before I finally pulled away.”

Which just proves that fast food, even under the guise of thriftiness, isn’t exactly first date fare. And that, when it comes to outrageous first dates, truth really is stranger than fiction.

No comments: