Monday, October 13, 2008

Outrageous First Dates: Verse Four

When I think of outrageous first dates, I can’t help remembering the attorney that longtime family friend Helen set me up with. I went into the date with a few reservations. Partly because she said work was always the best place to reach him (even after 10pm) and partly because of her response when I asked what he looked like.

“Well,” she said after a very pregnant pause, “He’s pleasant.”

NYC's Ernst & Young Building: I spent 30 minutes waiting in here for my worst blind date ever

Mr. Pleasant suggested a weekday lunch date. After making me wait in the reception area of his office for a half an hour, he emerged without an apology or much in the way of social graces. He took me to a pizza place and failed to ask me one question about myself, monopolizing the conversation the entire time.

For my good friend Tiffany, a chatty date led to a surprising revelation about his most long-standing commitment.

“I have a relationship with marijuana,” he told her.

Talk about a first date buzz killer. contributor Amy was stuck in traffic on the Throgs Neck Bridge when a guy in the car next to hers asked for her number. After two lengthy, enjoyable phone conversations, she was surprised that traffic guy showed up for their date with an unexpected guest in tow -- a funeral director friend of his who had officiated at two funerals that day.

The three of them went to an arcade. While Amy’s date and his friend played video games, she tried to figure out an escape plan. Finally, her date and the funeral director took her home.

“He walked me to the door (solo, thankfully!) and tried to kiss me goodnight,” she recalls. “with his friend sitting in the car, watching. Needless to say, we never spoke again.”

Which just goes to show that threesomes of any kind aren’t exactly an ideal first date configuration. On the bright side, Amy's tale proves that you never know what can happen when you play in traffic.

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