Saturday, May 23, 2009

First Date Postscript: Paying It Forward

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, Jacques brought our recent date to a close pretty quickly.

I attributed his exit to lack of interest -- or the increasing recession trend among online guys to bolt after one hour and one cocktail.

Turns out I was wrong on both counts, as I learned when Jacques sent me the following email:

“I enjoyed getting together. I was attracted to you and I found you fun to talk with and was looking forward to getting together. Upon reflection, I do think that religion can be a problem. Like you said commonalities make a relationship more likely to succeed. I never had an expectation of a mate practicing a different faith. I wish differently. Best to you”

Jacques and I had talked about religion during our date. I reiterated what I said in my JDate profile, that I grew up in an interfaith family (Dad was Jewish, Mom was Catholic) and consider Judaism a part of my heritage but am a practicing Catholic. My beloved parents deftly negotiated their religious differences so that it wasn’t an issue between them.

Still, I understand being with someone of another faith isn’t a bridge some people want to cross -- and I respect Jacques for being so gracefully candid about saying so.

I told him as much in an email, adding that I’d love to stay in touch, and set him up with some of my Jewish friends. He responded like the perfect gentleman that he seems to be.

“I'd really appreciate the introduction. We're both in the same boat-just trying to make a deep and enduring connection. I would be happy to reciprocate when I can.”

When you don’t click with a date, it’s nice to pay it forward and give someone else the chance to -- especially when the date is truly a great catch.

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