In a recent Kansas City Star column, Jenée Osterheldt talked about the importance of having friends regardless of your relationship status. As I read her wise words, I couldn’t help thinking about my own experience of galpals who have forsaken friendship because romance came their way.
One formerly close friend of mine dropped out of sight after meeting the love of her life, resurfacing only sporadically to make plans. I didn’t know what was more upsetting -- her lack of communication or her decision to abandon interests that don’t involve her significant other.
I’ve heard enough stories to know this isn’t an isolated phenomenon -- and to feel grateful that I learned the importance of friendship from my beloved mom.
When it comes to friends, this picture says it allMom ingrained this in me by setting a great example herself of sisterhood. She and my dad were madly in love but that didn’t stop her from making her friends a priority. When we moved to Canada for a few years, I remember Dad saying we would need a dedicated phone line to cover Mom’s frequent calls to her female posse. She managed to juggle being a devoted wife and mother and still sustain her friendships.
Friends will carry you through triumphs and trials alike, and be there for you when the object of your affections is driving you crazy. It is a support system worth nurturing, whether you’re single or not.
After my above mentioned galpal pulled her disappearing act, I did a gut check with other friends, asking if I’ve ever done the same in the throes of romance. I’m happy to say I haven’t. Because the greatest man in the world could never take the place of a girlfriend. Why would you want him to?
4 comments:
This is a common phenomenon among men as well. It seems whenever a buddy gets married, they can no longer "come out and play", or even return phone calls. In the days of land-line phones, one would often wonder if Wifey intercepted and disposed the message, but this is seldom the case, especially when everyone has a personal wireless phone.
The truth of the matter is that when folks settle down, their priorities change.
I couldn't agree more! Bottom line is we are all busy, but you make time for what is important to you. If your friends are as important as we'd like to think/say they are, then you just make time.
Amen Sister.
Having priorities change when settling down is to be expected. But as I said in my post, a change in relationship status shouldn't translate into abandoning friendships. I know many happily married friends who manage to carve out time for their peers. And I saw in my own parents that it is possible to have a passionate, devoted love and still maintain your network of friends.
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