Monday, June 15, 2009

Dating Boot Camp: The Finale

Last week, I attended the fourth and final installment of Lord & Taylor’s Dating Boot Camp.

Once again, Gotham-based married matchmaking duo Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal led the entertaining seminar, talking about what to do on Date Night. Joined by a panel of men that included editor Hayden Lynch and actor Chance Von Spiessbach, Matt and Tamsen dished out some first date dos and don’ts.

Panelists Hayden Lynch and Chance Von Spiessbach at Dating Boot Camp

When it comes to attire, be comfortable -- no muffin tops or excessive cleavage, Matt says.

Also off limits on a first date -- talking about therapy, babies or the future. And, don’t invite your date inside, unless your intentions are purely physical.

“The journey to Mr. Right has to be pleasant,” Matt said. “Compartmentalize what you want from a man and act accordingly.”

Tamsen encouraged women to play the field, as she was doing when Matt first asked her out.

“ 'I’ll throw you into the rotation,’ I told him,” she said. “[You should] have three to four guys in your rotation.”

One of the night’s most debated topics – who should pay on a first date.

“Let him be the guy on a first date,” Matt advised.

He’s not alone in what, as I recently discovered, many believe is archaic thinking. According to survey, a whopping 71% of men think they should pay on a first date (versus 58% of women).

As for the inevitable post-first date question -- why hasn’t he called? -- Matt explained that men have a totem pole of priorities (career, friends, pets, etc.) and it takes time for a new woman time to work her way into it.

“To him, a call equals a commitment,” he said. “If you call first, you’ve shown him all of your cards, establishing who asks and chases. Let him chase you.”

Having experienced the dynamic of male-as-pursuer on more than one occasion, I must admit I’m inclined to agree with him.

Coming up…a brief reunion with a long-distance dear friend and a quick jaunt to Puerto Rico.

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