Opening The Vault: Party Thirty Eight

When it comes to remaining friends with an ex, being 3,000 miles apart helps -- as I discovered with my Calfornia-based boyfriend Mark (a.k.a. Sparky).

Nearly a year after I broke it off between us, Sparky continued to call and we fell into a rhythm of communicating at least a couple of times a month. In the meantime, my romance with brooding and brilliant Larry continued to blossom, as he assured me his recreational drug habit was behind him. I now Open The Vault and take you back the summer of 1996...

May 18th, 1996
New York, NY

Dear Diary,

I had the pleasure of seeing Larry twice this week, and both times I rediscovered everything that drew me to him in the first place.

His quick wit and inexhaustible vocabulary engage my intellect, while his attentiveness and sensitivity appeal to the emotional side of me…There isn’t an encounter we’ve had during which Larry has failed to tell me how desirable I am to him.

All smiles during my first road trip with Larry to Broadkill Beach, Delaware, July 1996

As anyone who knows me will tell you, Larry was a very tough nut to crack in the beginning. Hardened by divorce and years of solitude, he was reluctant to get involved with me beyond a very superficial level.

Still, I was patient and willing to accommodate Larry’s hesitancy. Because the more time we’ve spent together, the more apparent it’s become how he feels about me. As his [CFA] exam draws closer, Larry has spoken more and more about being with me more frequently after June 1st.

* * *

May 27th, 1996

I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that I still think about Sparky a lot. He’s the only man I ever thought about marrying.

Rationally, I know all of the reasons I ended our relationship. But that hasn’t changed my feelings for him. A few weeks ago, Sparky called and admitted the same thing.

“It was very difficult for me to let go,” he said, “but nothing will ever change my love for you.”

“I love you too, Sparky,” I replied.

“I still think we have a chance,” he said.

“So do I.”

* * *

And so, Sparky and I kept the door open for a reprise between us. I couldn’t have imagined then where the years would take us -- or the ways in which time would only confirm what I already knew about him.